There’s Something About The Donald

This week, Donald Trump endorsed Mitt Romney for president of the United States.

So, I’m sure you’re wondering, exactly what does it mean to be endorsed by the Donald? Does Romney now have a secure path to the White House, all because Trump gave him his blessing? Could the pope’s blessing be not far behind?

Who's he going to endorse next? Pick me, pick me!

Well, the way the media gets their undies twisted into a knot every time Trump announces that he’s going to make an announcement, you’d think that would be the case. I guess it means, Romney should start packing his bags and head on over to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

After all, getting an endorsement from Trump must be akin to receiving a knighthood from the queen, a sainthood from the pope, or being crowned Miss Universe.

As abrasive as The Donald sometimes can be, he must have done something right to warrant all the media attention he gets whenever he decides to thrust himself upon the political arena. Perhaps he once did the man upstairs a favor and is now calling in his chips. On the other hand, this does have the markings of a pact made with the devil. Which would explain why Trump has been elevated to sage extraordinaire.

Why else would we the media keep falling for covering his press conferences as if he’s about to announce the cure for what ails us? Reminds me of the old TV commercial adage, “When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen.” Of course, E.F. Hutton went defunct years ago, no doubt because people were no longer listening. Yet, somehow we keep listening to Señor Trump.

Got to hand it to the man:  He sure is savvy.

Which is why I’m going to ask Trump to endorse me. So, when I sign up for match.com, my profile will include an endorsement message from Trump himself. That should make me date-worthy!

When my daughter graduates from college next year, I’ll make sure Trump endorses her to prospective employers. Heck, I’ll even ask him to introduce her when she gives the valedictorian speech. He’s that good. (Note: As her mother, I can only assume she’ll be giving the valedictorian speech, so please do not try to burst my bubble)

Whenever we fly cross-country, Trump will be there to christen the plane.

If someone annoys my son at work, Trump will be there to tell him he’s fired. If the IRS ever calls me in for an audit, Trump will be there to bully them into being nice to me.

I don’t know what draws the press to him, so that they’re hanging on his every word, but I’m hoping some of Trump’s brilliance rubs off on me. Maybe with his endorsement, I’ll become a more scintillating writer. I’ll even remember to take out the trash Sunday evenings, and say cool things like, “Donald dahling, where’s the crown you lent me?” Maybe I, too, will become so full of myself I start believing my own, er, dribble.

Seems to me, now that Trump has endorsed Romney we should be calling the candidate, Sir Romney. Might as well start calling me, Lady Monica. That’s how good he is.

On the other hand, maybe this has nothing to do with The Donald, per se, and all to do with the Donald name. So here are a few other Donald’s I’m anticipating will give an endorsement to Mitt, Newt, or even, Ron Paul.

  • Donald Duck
  • Don King
  • Donald Sutherland

Whad’ya say, boys? You’re not going to let The Donald steal your thunder. Time to get off your derrières and endorse, endorse, endorse!

So, tell me, whose endorsement are you waiting for?