Ship of Fools: Our Excellent Adventure Revealed

Or, Exactly Who Did Kill Lupita Davenport?

A HUMONGOUS thank you to all of you who participated in Bella’s and my Excellent Adventure!

Here’s a sampling of mysteries set on the high seas. See below for more.

Thank you, too, to those of you who read it and kept coming back to see it develop! We loved you for hanging in there while the story unfolded before your eyes.

Most of all, thank you to my fellow blogger, my friend and partner-in-crime, Bella.  She is so amazing, and has a not-to-be-missed blog, One Sister’s Rant. Bella is witty and enormously creative, too. Undertaking this Adventure on the High Seas project was her brilliant idea. So, kudos to you, Bella!

If you ask me, Bella and I have some very imaginative readers, who conjured up a cast of characters.  A proverbial ship of fools, I’d say. In other words they were, for lack of a better expression, to die for. Story contributors (besides Bella and me), include, in order of appearance:

Ellenmgregg

Jodi Aman

Robert

Karen Bidgood

Trisha Richter

Ashley Rodriguez

Clare Pister

Imelda Evans

Eloise Currie

DeBatterman

So which of these characters killed Lupita Davenport? We know she died at the hands of one—or more?—of her conniving classmates from the Gene Kelly High School of Performing Arts. Class of 1982. But who?

And, what were all of these alumni up to for the last 20 years? Who knows? But one thing’s for sure. They all seemed to suffer from major chips on their shoulders, jealousy, hangovers, hangnails, and envy, and had their own reasons for wanting to exact revenge, to right a wrong or just plain have a go with the man (of some) of their dreams: Thurston Davenport, III. Heir to the Davenport Pickle Company, and otherwise known as the Pickle King.

Seems he was a hot commodity, with looks and wealth, and devotees, such as Sally the songstress who, prior to her transformation, had once been George, Thurston’s best friend in high school; Katrina, who was thin and gorgeous, and despised Lupita; and Denise Diamond, the aging, Glock-carrying movie star who was about to star in the role of a lifetime. As herself.

To be sure, there were some red herrings. Like Kent “the Rocket” Johnson who jostled Elphie, when they first heard the maid’s blood-curdling screams. Or Lizzy Kelcher and Ryan Holden, who were having a tryst of their own. Milady Miranda Mudgeon, who seemed to have a secret agenda that involved a certain fellow named Ashley Montague, despite being married to Cur, a man who’d been found alive and shaken, lying in a pool of pickle juice.

Jane, who was now in the witness protection program—and, why she’d risk leaving it for a high school reunion with classmates she hadn’t seen in 20 years, we’ll never know. Then there’s Snidley Crumburger, who seemed to be constantly sweating bullets, and Cliff Thompson, who seemed to be rather nosy, listening in on other’s thoughts. And a few others who I’m sure I’m leaving out from this convoluted reunion on the high seas.

Finally, there was Sister Mary, the lesbian nun in love with Lupita. We knew from the outset she couldn’t do it, though we wondered why she stole Lupita’s ring. But, it was clear she was still carrying a torch for her darling Lupita.

And, let’s not forget the weapons. A cornucopia that included a Glock, a knife, a candlestick, an umbrella and a hatpin.

But, was there enough motive? Who could have been so maniacal as to end the life of Lupita Davenport? And, does it really matter?

For the life of me, this is one I couldn’t figure out myself. So, to find the answer, I turned to my friend and colleague, Bruce. He has a background in engineering, and a methodical mind as sharp as a tack. In other words, I can’t keep up with his uncanny knowledge and way of analyzing and deciphering everything so that it makes sense. Which is why, I assumed if anyone could determine the killer of this highfalutin story, it would be him. So, I asked Bruce, as a neutral, unbiased party, to read the mystery and figure out the name of the culprit.

Upon reading it, Bruce said this story reminded him of a Federico Fellini film. For those who don’t know, Fellini is the Italian director known for his surrealism and use of hallucinatory imagery, showing people at their most bizarre. Which was all I needed to hear.

He loved it! Since Fellini is highly acclaimed for his work, I’m sure what Bruce was trying to say was that this story is truly brilliant, and should be turned into a film! Now, I’ll drink to that!

I thanked Bruce profusely for the compliment, but asked him to get on with it and tell me who murdered Lupita!  After all, inquiring minds have to know!

Exasperated, Bruce looked at me, and declared,

“Only one could have done it. The one who lost her marbles and was crazier than the whole lot of her classmates put together. Who disrobed down to her Manolos, shot bullets in the ceiling with her Glock, and pulled her hair out when she couldn’t find Thurston.”

Why, that person is, none other than Denise Diamond!

So, there you have it. Another case closed.  Mystery solved!

Now, be sure to head over to Bella’s so you can learn the results of her version of the story!

Oh, and, if Bruce is right, and we ought to make a film out of this story, tell me, who do you think we should get to play each of the parts?

Thanks again to all who participated!  Let’s do it again soon!

Readers Pick!

Ah, the joy of words! Looks like I’m not the only one who has the word bug. Turns out many of you have it, too!

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you some of my favorite words, in a post called, A Word About Words. And, much to my delight, you shared some of your preferences, as well as a few of the ones you’d like to see get the kiss of death.

I counted at least 40 new words that were added to the list I started. Many of you agreed that “flabbergasted” and “discombobulated” are the cat’s pajamas when it comes to words you love. Here, a few of the words that have you smitten:

Bailiwick, as in: Chasing tornadoes across the Midwest was Uncle Fonzie’s bailiwick. Taking out the trash at Aunt Renee’s behest, was not.

Comeuppance, as in: When, Agatha Dudley, out for a stroll along the Pyrénées, tripped on a compact case she had earlier lost, and fell off a cliff, plunging nearly two hundred feet into the tempestuous waters below, it occurred to little Brenda, that Agatha may have finally gotten her comeuppance.

Penultimate, as in: Trixie Bubbles was about to go on stage, wearing little more than the oversized fan she was carrying, when the director said in a hushed, panicked voice, “It’s not your turn. Your act is the penultimate one!”

Aplomb, as in: Jimmy “The Weasel” walked to his cell, stoically and with great aplomb, amidst the hoots and howls of his fellow inmates.

Juxtapose, as in: Lupita Davenport juxtaposed her need for civility against her boyfriend’s desire to go see the fights.

Canoodle, as in: With his wife, Jodi, insisting they visit her family in Spunky Puddle, Ohio, Carl wondered if it wouldn’t be more to his liking to canoodle on the couch instead.

Groovy, as in: Jayne Starr, a flower child high on life, among other things, in that moment thought that everything was, indeed, groovy.

Slew, as in: There were a slew of reasons why Alberto Phineas couldn’t go to target practice with his sister, Nancy; key among them, that the last time they’d gone, she had shot off his foot in a most unfortunate accident.

Hooligan, as in: It was a frightening turn of events when the hapless hooligan bolted in anger, all because no one at the dinner party would eat his contribution to the potluck: mussel pancakes.

Tomfoolery, as in: The sound of Big Tommy’s booming guffaw, when Little Tommy refused to stop his tomfoolery of playing in oncoming traffic, caused Grandma Tippy to jump in alarm.

As for words you didn’t like? The list was short, with the one mentioned most being, “Awesome.”

Other pet-peeve words included: Like, Plump, Phlegm, Mucus, Reality, Woot, Rural, Care, Nice, Panties and App.

If I left out your word, don’t worry. I will hopefully include it in a future post. For now, it’s your turn. Please take any of these words and create your own sentences. Or add another favorite word to the ongoing roster. I can’t wait to read your contributions!