The funny thing about divorce is that it’s not something you learn how to deal with in advance. Sure, my high school taught me all about Home Economics–how to bake cookies, set a table, and sew a stitch. We had Driver’s Ed classes, too. But, I don’t recall any classes on the in’s and out’s of untying the knot. No siree, Bob!
And, if such a class had existed, who among us would have signed up for it? After all, don’t we all want to believe that when we marry, it’s for good? Happily ever after, till death do us part, and all that.
Had there been such a class, I might have been ready when my marriage hit the skids. Maybe I wouldn’t have been free falling, and feeling like it was the end of the world.
And, it wasn’t. More like the end of a dream. The dream of a house with the proverbial white picket fence, a dad and mom with kids, a tail-wagging dog and perhaps, a fluffy cat in the yard.
Instead, my reality was a husband with cheating ways, a house with a crab-grass lawn and ants wreaking havoc in the kitchen, and one over-flowing toilet. Plus, we didn’t have a dog—royal or otherwise—but we did have a cat that loved peeing on everything. The only part I seemed to have gotten right were the kids, and I don’t know what I would have done without them.
Ah, divorce. Suffice it to say, I was miserable during that time. And, I was flailing. But then, I learned of a workshop, called:
I signed up and, I will tell you, taking that workshop was the beginning for me. It gave me an inkling of hope, something I hadn’t felt in a long time, and made me realize I wasn’t alone, as I sat in the classroom surrounded by women facing the demise of their marriages–and their dreams. It was like discovering there was a manual all along, on how to get started, figure out finances, family law and also, on how to get through the emotional roller coaster that comes with divorce.
They say knowledge is power, and I certainly felt empowered after taking the class. I even found a therapist through the Second Saturday workshop, one who offered a group therapy that focused on connecting with your emotions through–
Talk about tailor made for me! I loved, loved, LOVED my therapy and looked forward to each session. Today, I thank my lucky stars that I enrolled in Second Saturday, a workshop that, to be honest, I haven’t thought about in years. Not until I sat down to interview two financial experts, and soon discovered that they are the brains behind Second Saturday, which is now available in over 40 states!
Candace Bahr and Ginita Wall have dedicated themselves to helping women with their finances, through their nonprofit website, WIFE.org (Women’s Institute for Financial Education). Not only are they responsible for creating the divorce workshops, their website is a must for any woman.
WIFE.org offers countless tips and free resources, such as:
- The 21-Day Makeover, where you can sign up to receive daily tips for three weeks, that will help you get on track for being debt-free and saving; and
- A Money Club, in which you and your friends can get together and help each other improve your finances. The tools to get started are all there—and it’s free!
In honor of March being Women’s History Month, be sure to check out my interview with Wall and Bahr. I think you’ll agree, their motto is a sound one:
A Man is Not a Financial Plan
Walk for Animals Update: In other news, you’ve been so generous in making contributions for the upcoming San Diego Humane Society’s Walk for Animals and, because of this, I’ve decided to hand out two awards, not just one.
So, congratulations to Valentine Logar and Susan McBeth!
You will each receive a Kindle copy of Little Boy Blue by Kim Kavin. Please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know the email address you would like me to use in order to gift you the Kindle book.
And, to all who have contributed to the Walk for Animals, Henry and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts!