Must Be My Birthday!

Call me crazy, call me out to lunch, but I have a feeling my birthday’s approaching. Maybe it’s nothing more than a hunch. Or it could be nothing more than intuition. On the other hand, I might have a sixth sense! Where’s Bruce Willis when you need him?

Well, whatever it is, I suspect it’s true, because the birthday cards have started to roll in.

And, I just love getting pretty, colorful birthday cards, don’t you? Especially the kind that wish me a very happy day, with many happy returns. And though, I’ve yet to figure out exactly what “many happy returns” actually means, I’m pleased as punch, all the same.

But, if truth be known, these cards aren’t from family, friends, or even acquaintances. No, these birthday cards are from my neighborhood retailers, from the shops where I do business.

After all, we have an understanding. I shop and make purchases, and, in return, they take my money. Oh, and once a year, they show their appreciation, for all my wonderful business, by sending me a birthday card.

I guess they figure I shop there so often, we’re more like pals. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Clearly, they must care about me very much, don’t you think? I’m sure they don’t send these lovely cards to just anyone. Particularly not cards that come with gifts.

Oh, didn’t I mention the gifts?

My local Hallmark store sent me a “little something” with a card that had the nicest message:

“Hope your birthday is special from beginning to end. Happily celebrating another year of you.”

Hallmark sure knows how to capture the feelings of the day, which isn’t surprising. They’re the experts when it comes to greeting cards.  And, the enclosed gift was just as special–

$2 off any purchase of $10 or more!

Does it get any better than this??

Victoria Secret also sent me a birthday card, and a coupon entitling me to $10 off anything in their store. Which is great news, indeed, because now I can get my annual pair of birthday underwear!

And, Starbucks must think I could use a pick-me-up. They sent me a postcard and all I need do is bring it in for a coffee of my choice! What will it be? Java Mocha Chip Frappuccino or a Caramel Latte? Hmm…

Even the airline I travel on has gotten in on the action. They sent me a card festooned with brightly colored balloons that coincidentally matches their logo—and the card is signed by the entire crew! Too bad they didn’t think to include a free round-trip flight to anywhere in the world. That would’ve been way too cool.

My car dealership didn’t send me a card, but this morning I did get an email, wishing me a happy birthday in all CAPS and two exclamation points, thank you very much.

But, no free car. Not even a new set of tires. Oh, bother.

Seems to me, if these merchants think enough of me to remember my birthday, the least I can do is have them over for dinner. Maybe we’ll go see a movie, too, and I’ll use the coupon I received, for a free small popcorn, from the local movie theater. Just me and my retailer pals, painting the town red, assuming I remember to bring the quart-size can of paint my local hardware store sent me.  We can also go to the nearby takeout shop for a free order of Cream Cheese Wontons, followed by a complimentary dessert at the organic restaurant near my office.

Oh, the possibilities!

If you ask me, I have THE most thoughtful retailers in the whole wide world! And to think, all I had to do was shop, shop, shop and say, “Charge it, please!”

So tell me, what goodies have you received for your birthday from your usual shopping haunts?

It’s My Birthday!

Today is my birthday and everyone knows birthdays are very special days indeed. Cause for celebration!  Bring out the cake and light the candles!  Get out the piñata! No, wait. Scratch that.  I’m not a kid anymore. Sigh.

And then I was 5.

There’s nothing like being young when it’s your birthday.  The anticipation of the day.  All the birthday cards arriving in the mail, saying, “Now You’re Five!” Or six or seven! The excitement of unwrapping presents! Who can forget their first Barbie? On my 6th birthday I received two! A blonde and a brunette. Yes, birthdays were so much fun then.  What happened?

Oh yes, I remember. We got old. These days, the only birthday cards I get in the mail are from businesses wanting well, my business.  They write such sweet sentiments such as:  “Happy Birthday! Save $5 off any purchase of $50 or more.” Wow, now that’s a gift.

Technically, I am as old as Disneyland and I’m not going to tell you how old Disneyland is.  I was born on a Friday and, according to Mother Goose, Friday’s child is loving and giving.  I was also born on the first day of autumn. Another reason to party hardy.

Bruce Springsteen has the same birthday as me and that makes us kindred spirits. We were both born to run! At least that’s what I believed in my teens and twenties. Now, I’ve got this bum knee that acts up whenever it feels like it, and I’m taking a statin to keep my cholesterol out of the danger zone. And, no matter how many times I get my hair “done,” and ladies, you know what I’m talking about, those blasted gray hairs keep popping up. I doubt Mickey Mouse has the same problems—and he’s 82!

A birthday party with friends, party dresses and cake. What could be better?

So this year, in honor of the day I was born, I’ve decided I’m only going to celebrate my birthday in years where September 23rd actually falls on a Friday.  For those are the only days when it’s my true, honest to goodness birthday.  Which makes me today, roughly, give or take a few, about seven years old.  Hooray, I’m a kid again!

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. Ain’t gonna fly. In which case, I’ll also count the years in which the 23rd of September falls on a Thursday or Saturday because that’s close enough to Friday. That would put me in the ballpark of 21, so I can make a toast to myself since, guess what? Today is a Thursday!  Yay, I’ve reached drinking age!  Somebody, get me a Mai Tai. Make it a double!

Wait, I’m getting tired from all this hoopla. Sigh.  At my age, the best gift of all is nothing more than an afternoon nap. And I’ll drink to that!