An Undocumented Youth

Last fall, I was captivated by a man I met at a screening of a PBS documentary called, America By the Numbers, which is all about the changing face of America and its impact on the elections. He was one of the speakers and, as he spoke, I was struck by how much he knew about immigration and its influence on presidential politics.

Wong at age 11.

Wong at age 11.

He talked in a thoughtful, soft-spoken sort of way. And, as he presented a slew of statistics, the conversation soon turned to undocumented immigrants, and more specifically, to him. Quite matter-of-factly, this expert on immigration mentioned that he, too, had been an undocumented immigrant.

The entire audience, 100 or so of us, did a collective double take. Did we hear right? Had this scholarly young man, a faculty member at a prestigious university, just say he grew up as an undocumented youth?

Yep, it’s true. His name is Tom K. Wong and I was so taken with his story that I had to interview him. So, just before the holidays, we sat down and chatted about his life, his dreams, and his mission to help other undocumented immigrants become citizens, too.

I learned so much in our short time together, but the biggest takeaway for me was realizing that when most of us think of undocumented immigrants we picture a Latino face. A Mexican face. But in doing so, we are missing the point.

Undocumented immigrants come in all shapes and sizes and from all parts of the world.  True, there are many undocumented Latinos living among us.  But there are also countless undocumented Asians, Europeans, and Canadians. They don’t all “climb over a wall” to get here. Nor, are they all smuggled into the country. Some arrive on planes or trains. Legally at first, with a visa, and then the visa expires and they’re still here.

For the undocumented children, who were brought here by their parents, this may very well be the only country they know. They have friends here. They’re going to school here, and playing kickball, too. And often, they don’t know the truth about themselves.

There are many paths to becoming an undocumented immigrant.   But there are so very few to becoming a citizen.

And, the undocumented are not all migrant workers, maids, janitors, and the like. Some have white-collar jobs. Like Tom, who is on the faculty of the University of California, San Diego.

I hope you’ll read my interview with Tom that I wrote for my new Hey Neighbor! blog. His is quite a fascinating story.

Please be sure to read Tom K. Wong on Life as an Undocumented Youth  and do let me know what you think! Here’s a preview:

Tom K. Wong is haunted by a childhood memory. It is of being awakened in the middle of the night by his mother, and being taken into the hallway, along with his older brother. There, she held them both tightly and sobbed while helicopters hovered overhead…(Click here to read more.)

Puppy Fever!

Ash and Josie

Puppy Fever has arrived at the office. Much like Spring Fever or the ticking biological clock—the one that makes you want babies—but instead of wanting babies–we want puppies!

It all started with Ash. She got a bee in her bonnet that she wanted a puppy and soon she took to regaling us with stories of puppies. Puppy this and puppy that and at first we paid her no mind, but soon she was showing us oodles and oodles of pictures of puppies, and you’ve got to admit, presented with a cute puppy, it’s hard not to fawn and sigh with joy—even if it is only a photo.

So, before you knew it, Ash had us all talking about puppies. And by all of us, I mean, us women in the office, and even Jack, our sole male, who’s been known to tweet using the following hashtag:



Anyway, I swear I’ve seen Jack get all gooey-eyed when shown a video of a sweet little dog frolicking in the grass. And, I don’t believe him for a moment when he says, it’s just allergies.

So, one day, I said to Ash, after hearing her go on and on about a certain Morkie puppy that she really, really wanted (and for those not in the know, that’s one of those hybrid dogs or designer mutts, as I call them), half Maltese and half Yorkie,

“Okay, Ash, let’s go look at your puppy.”

Ash did one of those double takes that you see happen in cartoons, where they look away and then, they look right back at you with their eyes as wide as saucers, wondering if you really meant it and getting excited in case you do.

“WHAT??!” she asked exuberantly. I could hear her heart pounding from across the room.

Clare wants a puppy, too!

“Let’s go! Today at lunch, we’ll go see your puppy, the one you want.”

So, Ash, Clare and I piled into her car. (Trisha was out sick that day and Jack was nowhere in sight, while Laura had already gone to lunch). And, off we went.

Well, we were there in five minutes flat, and it took less than 30 seconds for all of us to fall head over heels in love with Ash’s Morkie.  And, while she went back and forth, trying to figure out whether or not to adopt the little thing, I said,

“Ash, if you don’t walk out with that puppy today, I’m taking her.”

Because suddenly, just like that, even though I didn’t mean to, I’d become another victim of puppy fever!  After all, doesn’t my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel deserve a little companion–a sidekick? Someone who’ll play Dr. Watson to his Sherlock? Rather, a mini-me, puppy-in-waiting?

Well, Ash didn’t get the Morkie that day, but she went back two more times to have a look-see (four times, in all–but who’s counting?). And, she took her boyfriend so he could give his input, and before you knew it the little Morkie was finally hers!

I just love puppies!

So, now Ash has her puppy, named Josefina Calisi. (Yes, Ash and her guy are big fans of HBO’s Game of Thrones.) Or, Josie for short.

And, I still have puppy fever! Clare does, too, by the way, but her roommate, who happens to be her sister, Hannah, refuses to cave to puppy madness.

As for Trisha, who was out sick the day we went to see the puppy, she swore never to leave us alone in the office again, because, as she puts it, she’s the only practical one among us (puppy insanity hasn’t hit her yet, but I figure it’s a matter of time).

Sure, Trisha’s laughing now, but she’s tired of all this puppy-love talk in the office. (This, coming from a cat owner, which is why I take everything she says with a grain of salt.)

Trisha says, had she been in the office that day, she would have told us not to be so impulsive. In other words, someone’s got to be the wet blanket, ahem, reality check.  😉

Jack: The struggles of being the only man in our department. Must be very trying, indeed.

So, what do you think? Should I succumb to my serious bout of puppy fever? Or, listen to Trisha and let sleeping dogs lie?

Luckily, DiDi and Bella from Paws to Talk are going to help me figure this out. Can’t wait!

In the meantime, Happy Fourth to all my American readers! To the rest of you, Happy Wednesday!  May the Fourth be with you!

Laura, seen here at one of our events, is the newest addition to our department, and has admitted a certain fondness for puppies.

Office Perks

These office workers are content because they can take a lunch break together, and enjoy it, too. Office perks!

Depending on what side of the fence you sit on, things are getting better or things are getting worse. And there are those who think, things are improving, though not fast enough.

Any way you look at it, one thing is probably certain: You haven’t seen a raise in a long time. Years, even.

But I say, look at the bright side. When you are lucky enough to have an office job, there are so many perks that come with it. Perks that can make your head swim, if you think about them for too long. I’m not talking about the obvious, like paid leave or retirement, that some may have. I’m talking about the ones staring you right in the face. Right there in front of your nose. Allow me to outline a few for you:

1. You work in an office that has electricity. So, if there isn’t natural light beaming in from a nearby window, you can still see what you’re doing. All thanks to fluorescent lighting. No need to bring in flashlights or candles from home!

2. You have full access to a bathroom made just for your gender. (The only place where sexism still is allowed—and appreciated. 🙂 ) It’s like being part of a club!

3. The bathroom comes with all the amenities you could ask for—running water, soap, paper towels or hand dryer, sinks, and, well, you get the picture.

4. Chances are, you have your own office space—whether it’s a roomy office, a cubicle or a desk in the janitor’s closet. It’s yours!  And you’re free to place a framed photo of your family on it!

This office worker is a happy one because she has office friends, a desk and computer, not to mention a desk phone!

5. Access to sunlight: maybe you’re stuck all day at your desk and can’t take a break. Well, you can look up, can’t you? Odds are, there’s a window somewhere on your floor, designed for you to look out and gaze upon the sunlight, imagining you’re enjoying a picnic in the park or bicycling through city traffic.
6. Lunch breaks: If you’re like most, you probably get hungry around midday. If so, then problem solved! You are allowed–even encouraged!–to take a lunch break. (But be back in a half hour, please!)
7. I haven’t even mentioned the computer that is, no doubt, sitting on your desk. Yes, you can send and receive work-related emails, make your deadlines for writing reports, and create flyers as needed—all because of that nifty invention, the computer.
8. As an employee of your office, you’re allowed to attend special staff functions, like the office party! And, on your birthday, someone is sure to bring you a frosted cake, that includes your choice of vanilla or chocolate (candles, extra).
9. Business Cards for networking, sales pitching, and also comes with bragging rights (for those with tony job titles, that is).
10. Office Family: When you spend all day, five days a week at your job, it’s more than likely that you will make friends at the office. In fact, they become your work family—probably even closer to you than some of your relatives. Maybe even some bickering, too. Work families are special because they know all about the work you do. They know that the office supply vendor who overcharged you, or that you were late submitting that last report and got a “good” talking to by the Big Cheese. You can take your problems to them and they’ll understand. Of course, if you find yourself planning your Thanksgiving get-together with them, perhaps you’ve taken the concept of office family too far.

This worker bee is grateful for her office perks. 😉

So, the next time you walk into the bathroom to brush your teeth after lunch (it’s allowed!), thank your lucky stars your office offers such accoutrements as running water.

And if, anyone laughs at you for not getting a raise this year, tell them you don’t need one. You’ve got something better:  Office Perks!

So, tell me, whether you work inside or outside the home, what are some of the perks you get with your job?

She Who Shall Remain Nameless

Remember Gleda Balls, one of my first bosses? Well, here’s another gem. This one made my life so miserable, I’m afraid to mention her by name. Though, if I were to pick one for her, Voldemort would be quite suitable. The best thing she did for me was to teach me how to recognize the signs when things are not working out. Signs that I’m sharing with you, so that you know, if any of these happen to you, it may be time to move on. Here’s a sampling:

  • Every night, you come home from the office and cry.
  • Sometimes you also bang your head against the wall.

When I first saw the 1988 film, "Working Girl," I thought Sigourney Weaver did a stellar job of capturing my boss. (Melanie Griffith is on the left).

  • You wish every day was Friday. In fact, you hate Mondays so much you start hating Sundays too, knowing they often lead to Mondays. You’re on the fence about Saturdays.
  • You’re well into your pregnancy and your boss says, “I don’t care how tired you are, you still have to be here by 8:30, not 8:35.”
  • Having children who may pull you away from the office for doctor appointments, school plays, etc., is frowned upon. You know this because only two others in your department have children and one has hired a full-time nanny, so that she rarely has to go home and see her child, and the other, the boss, has sent her child away to boarding school.
  • She asks you to cover for her on those mornings when she doesn’t get in until 10. This means you have to turn on her office light in the morning, pretend you’re having a conversation with her, and say she just went to the restroom, if asked.
  • You have a mild heart attack, are rushed to the hospital but are expected to show up for work the following day.
  • Inside information about your company is anonymously leaked to the press (not by you, as you’re too low in the corporate ladder to know anything) and the boss orders everyone into the boardroom for a scolding, and no one’s allowed to leave until someone confesses.
  • Your boss doesn’t know how to use her computer and orders you to do some of your work on hers so that management, which is monitoring everyone’s computer, thinks she’s doing her share.
  • You come up with an idea and your boss takes the credit. No one’s the wiser, and you watch as she gets recognized for it at a staff meeting.

All of these things happened to me, except for one. It was a colleague who suffered the heart attack.

I spent three years, five months and two days working for this boss, and yes, I did look for other jobs, but when I finally resigned, I left on the best of terms. My boss was so terrifying, there was no way I wanted to leave on her bad side. No burning bridges, if I could help it.

And when I left, I moved so far away I thought I would never see her again. Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Fast forward four years. I have a new job, as does she: VP for a national company, in charge of communications, which includes coordinating the A/V for their annual conference. She rings me up, all sweetness and smiles and, when I answer the phone, I am immediately drawn into her snare.

She wants to “team up” for old time’s sake. Will pay me handsomely to help her with the conference, and do a little writing for her, like I used to. Just a few days and all I have to do is name my price.

Name my price? The spider has me in its web.

She even flies out Frankie Sands, the A/V guy and his crew, whom we used to work with back in the day. The three of us are together again, she says, adding, one last hurrah!  Though, she hints that if I play my cards right, there may be future gigs, repeating the words, “Name your price.” I’m taken in, thinking everyone deserves a second chance.

Oh. There’s one more thing she forgot to mention. Just a tiny matter, she says, with a sigh, her crimson lips mouthing a yawn. We’re sitting in a restaurant in the hotel lobby, and her long, manicured nails are drumming persistently against the mahogany bar.

She leans in, conspiratorially, and, looking me in the eye, she whispers, “Don’t tell a soul about this arrangement.”

And by soul she means the CEO, her boss. She explains how she hasn’t yet told him about our business deal, but she will soon, any moment. In the meantime, mum’s the word.

“Don’t worry,” she assures me. “It’ll be fine.”

A few days go by and the conference is over. Frankie Sands and I do our best work ever. “Have you told your boss?” I ask as she heads for the airport.

“Not yet,” she replies, but she’s so grateful to me. She kisses me on the cheek, reminding me to send her my invoice. And then she gets in a cab and is gone.

The flim-flam man. The con. For, that’s the last time I see her. Every call and email goes unanswered. Weeks go by. Months, and I finally give up. I fell for the biggest con of them all.

Then, one day, I get a call from Frankie Sands. Turns out, what she did to me, she did to him. She screwed us both. Shame on us.

But unlike me, Frankie and his company are at risk of losing money in the six figures. He tells me he’s suing her and her company and wants to know how much I’m owed because Frankie, God bless him, has a plan.

He rolls the funds owed to me into his suit and he wins. Every cent owed. Soon, he sends me a check, and I am overcome with gratitude. He didn’t have to do it; he didn’t have to help me, but he did. And, if Frankie is reading this, Frankie, you’re a true mensch.

And to Voldemort, my old boss: Good riddance. As The Who once said, we “won’t get fooled again.”

The Other Shoe Drops

The downward spiral of Gleda Balls, continued, but I wasn’t privy to the details. There were closed-door meetings, of which I was not included in a single one. It was all very hush-hush. As were the wringing of hands, the pacing in the hallways, and occasionally, the sound of an unanswered telephone coming from Gleda’s office.

I was in my own world, much like before, only now I’d been promoted. Which meant I got to move out of the front office I shared with Ann, the other assistant, and into an office in the back, which I now shared with Jeff, the assistant director. Jeff was very funny and kept me perennially bemused. We did our jobs and had fun doing it. Sometimes he’d be called into a meeting to meet with Gleda, who looked more harried than ever. Yet, despite all that was going on, I don’t think either of us ever thought we’d see the other shoe drop.

The meeting that changed my life was in a parking garage, much like this one.

Gleda Balls continued to sit at her own desk, in her own office, across the hall from Jeff and I. She continued her pattern of flitting in and out of the office. Mostly out.  A few times she asked me to babysit her kids and I obliged, because I simply didn’t have the wherewithal to decline.

The next few weeks were business as usual. Jeff spending good parts of the day at the studios on campus, and me, working blithely and bringing my work to Gleda for approval, then to Jan to type up, and, finally, to Ann mail out. Gleda would swing in, check her mail, grab her phone messages from the receptionist and retreat into her office, carefully closing the door behind her.

Then, the following Friday there was an unusual amount of activity. Flo, a middle-aged Japanese-American woman, in charge of Human Resources, met with the general manager in his office with the door closed. Several minutes later, he came out and entered Burnie, the program manager’s office and also closed the door. Then, the general manager and Flo left and headed to the administration building. None of these activities puzzled me because I was oblivious. I was in my office doing my job. That’s all.

But then something happened that I did find perplexing. The general manager called Jeff and asked Jeff to meet him immediately, and to bring me with him. He gave no reason as to why. But, here’s the kicker. He didn’t want to meet us in his office or in the Administration building, nor in Flo’s office. He asked that we meet him in the underground parking garage near the administration building. Jeff looked at me quizzically. And I looked at him confused. This is so strange, we both decided, as we anxiously headed to the garage a few blocks away.

We must have arrived too soon because we didn’t see the general manager at first. Just rows and rows of cars. We loitered just inside the entrance to the garage, as he didn’t say exactly where we should meet him. By the green Datsun wagon? The silver Volvo? Were we going to have a tailgate picnic here? Jeff didn’t know any more than I did. So we stood there, in the cold concrete garage, stuffing our hands in our pockets to stay warm, and wondered what this was all about. I felt as though we were waiting for a rendezvous with the mob, and not our General Manager. Perhaps, he was going to give us instructions on a hit, or confess to a clandestine affair.

Ten minutes later, he briskly walked in. He had black curly hair, a bulbous nose and a thick mustache, and the New York in him immediately stood out. His larger than life mannerisms made it seem as if he’d grown up on a Broadway stage, and needed to project every nuance and every word. His cavernous voice could, indeed, carry to the opposite side of an auditorium or, in this case, a garage. Extending his arms out wide, he loudly exclaimed,

“I have a proposition for you!” I looked behind me to see if we had an audience listening in, but we seemed to be alone.

“I’m about to meet with Gleda and I’m going to let her know this isn’t working out, so I need to know that you’re on board with me.”

I looked at Jeff, who seemed to be nervous with anticipation. Could this be it? I nodded and so did Jeff, who then said,

“Of course we’re with you. What did you have in mind?

“Jeff, I want to make you Acting Director of the department.” Then, turning to me, he added, “And you will be Acting Assistant Director, which means an automatic 10 percent raise for you both. If all goes well, in six months we can make it official.”

I had a wide grin on my face and so did Jeff. We nodded eagerly, like kids whose great uncle was about to buy them the toy of their dreams. The General Manager excitedly shook our hands. The deal was set and the wheels were in motion.

“Good then,” he said. “Time’s a wasting!” And with that, he dramatically swept out of the garage, like a magician performing a magic trick, and disappearing into thin air.

So this is how the other shoe dropped. Out of sight or, at least, out of my line of vision. I never quite learned all that was going on in those weeks, and I never saw Gleda again after that day. The General Manager must have met with her and asked her to leave on the spot. From that day on, Jeff became my boss, and for the next seven years, he, like Patti before him, proved to be one of the greatest—and coolest—bosses I’ve had. I will always be thankful for all he taught me during our tenure together.

But, like I said from the start: To me, Gleda wasn’t a good boss or a bad one. She fit in the “in-between” category. I owe her a good deal, as her actions, inadvertently or not, helped launch my career.

As far as bosses go, the real “bad boss” would come later. A regular “Cruella De Vil” meets the “Devil Wears Prada.” But, this was several years later, after I left Seattle and took a new job in a new city. Frankly, I didn’t know the meaning of bad bosses until I met this one. And, she was a doozy.

Missed a chapter? Read past installments, by visiting the page, The Road Taken.