I realize it’s been a long time, but seriously, don’t judge me. I can’t take your dirty looks or evil eye. I only have myself to blame for not coming here sooner. But things happen. Life, the universe and pandemics.
A lot has happened since you last saw me. For starters, there’s been a virus going around. I don’t need to explain that, do I? Well, I’ll be honest: I’m not a fan of the mask. Makes us all look like we’re robbing a bank, a bank that’s been robbed many times over by now. So we wear a mask, we keep our distance, and we wait for better times to come. I’ll tell you: in my many years on earth, I never thought the day would come that I’d be living in a science fiction movie.
How did we get here? Don’t ask. Thankfully, we have a new president, one who promises not to cause an insurrection. That’s something, eh?
I’ll tell you, I’ve never spent so much time at home. It’s not easy. For starters, I began this pandemic by eating like crazy. Remember the shortages in the beginning? Well, while you were looking for hand sanitizer and toilet paper, I was buying Pepperidge Farm cookies by the crate. I figured if the flu is going to kill me, they’ll find me dead in my home, clutching a handful of Mint Milano’s. Oh, boy.
And then, there’s Zoom. Never heard of it before the pandemic. Next thing I know, I’m on Zoom everyday, attending all sorts of meetings. I’m also learning to use Slack. And that’s when it hits me. Looking at my reflection in the Zoom camera I see how old I’ve become. Yikes. Too old to work around these young yahoos. So yada, yada, yada, I announce my retirement.
But guess what? I don’t like that word. RETIREMENT. Too fancy, too formal, too final. Can only mean one thing. I’m approaching my last resting place. So do me a favor, if you know a better word to describe “retirement,” could you let me know–please?
I decided to post here a photo of me in the early days of my career. I’m here with my General Manager. The head honcho or the big cheese, as my boss, Jeff, would call him. He was a great guy. I liked him because he was also from New York and had the same New York sensibilities I had. We were fast talkers and always antsy. Looking for the next big thing. I also liked him because he gave me a chance. Started promoting me when I was barely six months into my job. Those were the days, before faxes and computers, when everyone was isolated and dependent on TV for everything. I have great memories of working with him in Seattle. This photo was taken in New York, by the way. We were visiting the station there and having a grand time. Made me sad when one day he resigned and took a job in Texas. Texas? Who goes there?
So what have I been doing since retirement? Well, at first all I did was visit the garbage dump every week. Actually it was a recycling center and I loved it. So fast pace and frenzied. Cars pulling up, people sorting bottles and cans, grabbing flattened boxes from the trunk of their cars and tossing them into the “cardboard only” bins. And everyone’s rushing through. If not for the frenetic energy, I could stay there all day. Felt like home. At least felt like where I grew up.
I guess I need to come up with other things to do in retirement. Stay tuned.