The truth is, I’ve got nothing to blog about.
The longer I’ve stayed away from blogging, the harder it’s been to get back into the groove. Not because I’ve been working on some important pursuit, like writing the Great American Novel. Sadly, that’s not why.
The real reason is, and I’m not one to mince words, its because of guilt. Sheer, massive quantities of guilt. Guilt that I’ve been completely negligent of this Tangled Web. You won’t believe how much guilt a person like me can harbor. It’s sucking the life out of me!
Of course, Henry doesn’t help.
“You realize it’s been 20 days since you last blogged,” says the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel who descends from royalty.
“It’s been 32 days,” admonishes Henry, 12 days later.
“Um, Cook, are you going for the Guinness Book of Records? It’s been 65 days!”
And on and on. Ugh, I have no excuses. Zero. That said, being a staunch believer in letting bygones be bygones, let’s move on, shall we?
The trouble is, I’m not sure what to move on to. I started blogging seven years ago–can you believe it? Seven years and I know what you’re thinking.
You’re thinking it’s likely I’ve told you everything you need to know about this witless wonder. And I’m starting to think the same thing. I’ve covered everything from A to Z, and that which I haven’t covered, well, it’s probably because I don’t want to.
You know, the embarrassing moments. The ones where I put my foot in my mouth, hurt someone’s feelings or made a perfect fool of myself. Then there are the regrets. Yes, I’ve had a few.
Like the fact that everyone around me seems to have joined the vegan wagon, and are dropping the pounds like crazy, while me well, let me put it this way: The only vegan food item I seem to enjoy are Oreo cookies. Can you believe it? Oreo’s are considered vegan! And when I heard that, I nearly fell over backwards. But instead I rushed to the supermarket to stock up. Nabisco, I can’t thank you enough, now that I’m eating, ahem, vegan.
Anyway, where was I? I had it all planned to write a blog about the Second Amendment, which kind of explains the title of this post. If you ask me, our Forefathers came up with the Second Amendment–the right to keep and bear arms–on account that back in their day, we didn’t have police precincts in every town. So, in lieu of that, people needed to protect themselves. I was thinking that there might’ve been some other amendments drafted that ended up on the cutting room floor of Constitution Hall.
Like the right to wear powdered wigs and use outhouses. I mean, imagine if men like Tom Hanks or Senator John McCain were passionate about wearing powdered wigs and if we felt just as strongly about using outhouses–all because of an Amendment to the U.S. Constitution?
Well, I was going to write such a post, but then it occurred to me that maybe that would hit too close to home for some, and they wouldn’t see the humor or frivolity in it. And frankly, I don’t want to cause a fight, not by any stretch. This country seems to be doing okay fighting among each other without me adding to the fray.
But, speaking of the right to bear arms, has anyone noticed how many expressions our language has with references to um, guns? Hmm…wonder what that says about us. Here’s a sampling:
Lock, stock and barrel
Dodge a bullet
Under the gun
A shot in the dark
She’s gun shy
She’s a straight shooter
Don’t shoot your mouth off
He’s a pistol
Too quick on the draw
And so on. I’m sure you can think of some others. Anyway, as I was saying I’ve got nothing to blog about today. I’m just shooting from the hip.
But, if you have any blogging ideas for me or a question to pose, I’m all ears. In the meantime, it’s back to the drawing board for me. Ho hum.