The Right to Wear Powdered Wigs and Use Outhouses


The truth is, I’ve got nothing to blog about.

The longer I’ve stayed away from blogging, the harder it’s been to get back into the groove.  Not because I’ve been working on some important pursuit, like writing the Great American Novel. Sadly, that’s not why.

The real reason is, and I’m not one to mince words, its because of guilt.  Sheer, massive quantities of guilt. Guilt that I’ve been completely negligent of this Tangled Web.  You won’t believe how much guilt a person like me can harbor. It’s sucking the life out of me!

Of course, Henry doesn’t help.

“You realize it’s been 20 days since you last blogged,” says the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel  who descends from royalty.

“It’s been 32 days,”  admonishes Henry, 12 days later.

“Um, Cook, are you going for the Guinness Book of Records?  It’s been 65 days!”

And on and on. Ugh, I have no excuses. Zero. That said, being a staunch believer in letting bygones be bygones, let’s move on, shall we?

The trouble is, I’m not sure what to move on to. I started blogging seven years ago–can you believe it?  Seven years and I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking it’s likely I’ve told you everything you need to know about this witless wonder. And I’m starting to think the same thing. I’ve covered everything from A to Z, and that which I haven’t covered, well, it’s probably because I don’t want to.

You know, the embarrassing moments. The ones where I put my foot in my mouth, hurt someone’s feelings or made a perfect fool of myself.  Then there are the regrets. Yes, I’ve had a few.

Like the fact that everyone around me seems to have joined the vegan wagon, and are dropping the pounds like crazy, while me well, let me put it this way:  The only vegan food item I seem to enjoy are Oreo cookies.  Can you believe it? Oreo’s are considered vegan!  And when I heard that, I nearly fell over backwards.  But instead I rushed to the supermarket to stock up. Nabisco, I can’t thank you enough, now that I’m eating, ahem, vegan.


Anyway, where was I? I had it all planned to write a blog about the Second Amendment, which kind of explains the title of this post.  If you ask me, our Forefathers came up with the Second Amendment–the right to keep and bear arms–on account that back in their day, we didn’t have police precincts in every town.  So, in lieu of that, people needed to protect themselves.  I was thinking that there might’ve been some other amendments drafted that ended up on the cutting room floor of Constitution Hall.

Like the right to wear powdered wigs and use outhouses.  I mean, imagine if men like Tom Hanks or Senator John McCain were passionate about wearing powdered wigs and if we felt just as strongly about using outhouses–all because of an Amendment to the U.S. Constitution?

Well, I was going to write such a post, but then it occurred to me that maybe that would hit too close to home for some, and they wouldn’t see the humor or frivolity in it.  And frankly, I don’t want to cause a fight, not by any stretch. This country seems to be doing okay fighting among each other without me adding to the fray.

But, speaking of the right to bear arms, has anyone noticed how many expressions our language has with references to um, guns?  Hmm…wonder what that says about us.  Here’s a sampling:

Lock, stock and barrel

Dodge a bullet

Shotgun wedding

Riding shotgun

Under the gun

shooting blanks

A shot in the dark

He’s half-cocked

She’s gun shy

She’s a straight shooter

Don’t shoot your mouth off

He’s a pistol

Too quick on the draw

And so on. I’m sure you can think of some others. Anyway, as I was saying I’ve got nothing to blog about today. I’m just shooting from the hip.

But, if you have any blogging ideas for me or a question to pose, I’m all ears.  In the meantime, it’s back to the drawing board for me. Ho hum.


15 thoughts on “The Right to Wear Powdered Wigs and Use Outhouses

  1. Hey Monica, reading on the notes left here, you are not alone when it comes to having non inspirational oasis when it comes to writing something here. I’m the biggest failure when it comes to writing too, and I think it’s because I have nothing to say, that’s it! I will pop in from time to time and read a few entries and then I’m like, ‘well, there’s a few minutes of my life I’ll never get back,’ which is a horrible thing to think, because I know how much time people spend writing up their stuff, and it is most unappreciative of me. Then I think, what is this writing need we seem to have, even when we have nothing of significance to say?

    Don’t beat yourself up over it, we are all swimming in the same pool.

  2. Things are always ruminating . . . be kind to yourself. And when the time comes to shoot your mouth off in that clever, playful style of yours, the thoughts will be there.

    • Thanks, Kim. I am focused on my life. Too much going on. Thankfully, most of it’s good. Plus, I think I’ve been spending more time practicing the piano than writing. Wish I had something to show for it, lol. Let’s just say, I’ll never make it to Carnegie Hall!

  3. As Debbie mentions, if you leave it too long, the muse will not return, that muse of mine disappeared a while back. Just about had enough with me. If it is 32 days according to Henry, it is about 90 days too long for me. I’m now not sure what to write about. Oh there’s so much. Guns. Yes, guns could have me going, not to mention a few other things, Puerto Rico for one. Or the fact that so much discord exists, we are falling apart at the seams, I don’t care what side of the aisle you are on, if we could onlyjust get it together.

    I have missed you my friend. Hope you and the boys are well.

    • MM, you, Debbie and Robert are my tried and true blogging buddies and don’t know what I’d do without you all. It’s why I come back, though my blogs might be few and far between, knowing you’re there, Debbie somewhere in Illinois and Robert in GB, well, that’s what keeps me here. In these trying times, when civility is a rare commodity, your friendship means the world to me! Friendship, kindness and acts of love. That’s what truly matters, dear friend.

  4. Great to see you back here, Monica! I think all of us who’ve been blogging awhile need to take some time off periodically. Not too much time, though, because as you’ve seen, too much chases the Muse away … far away. And she starts to like that hiatus and refuses to come back willingly!

    Hope you’re far from the wildfires. Those things look scary. As for ideas on what to blog about, gee, how about Googling it??

    Congrats to Robert on his upcoming retirement — should be an interesting change, right?!!

    • Yes I am looking forward to it Debbie, I am taking early retirement on my 62nd birthday, normal retirement age here now is 67 and going up all the time.

      • Good for you, Robert! Lots of folks would love to do that, but they haven’t saved enough money to do so comfortably — or at least, they think they haven’t. You’ve obviously been a wise saver!

    • Debbie, the wildfires so far have been to the north. It’s been abnormally hot though and the slightest strike of a match can trigger a wildfire anywhere. We are on alert but I think next week it’s supposed to cool down into the 60s. Whew.

  5. Hi Monica.

    Long time no read.

    You are not alone, I have been trawling through many of the blogs I used to read and they are mostly full of tumbleweed blowing gently in the breeze.

    I am just as guilty, my blog is sadly under-loved, I even did a post in it recently on the subject of abandoned blogs.

    But in my case all is not lost, I am taking early retirement on 28th November (My 62nd Birthday,) and I plan to spend my time improving my writing which I have not had time for. So watch out for some great works in the near future!! I have even bought myself a new MacBook PRO to do it all on.

    People these days seem to love things like snapchat, twitter etc. The way I rabbit on I can’t express myself in 120 characters or less!!

    • Thank you, Robert, for helping to ease my guilt. I guess it’s a road we all travel at point or another. Debbie’s right: the longer you stay away, the harder it gets. I’m finding it hard to muster the wherewithal to get back on track…
      But how wonderful for you about your retirement. I’m pea green with envy. Particularly since a famous financial planning guru by the name of Suzy Orman, just announced that the age to retire is 70. Wow. Not sure I can wait that long though I know I’m not ready, financially speaking, to retire now. Some dreams take longer to materialize…

      • Just remember every day you put off retirement that’s one day less to enjoy it.

        Also remember money isn’t everything, factor in the savings you will make in commuting, parking, vehicle maintenance, eating out etc. It’s all part of the equation.

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