Either there’s an epidemic of toddlers who can’t keep their shoes on their feet or suddenly, everyone thinks that it’s okay–nay even encouraged–to dump a shoe. Or two. My goodness, I’ve never seen such a rash of lost shoes. Yet, I’ve been finding quite a few on my walks of late.
If you don’t believe me, I present you with a smattering of misplaced shoes, otherwise known as Exhibit A:
As you can see, I come across these shoes in the oddest of places. How did that shoe get there? Who forgets perfectly fine, adorable shoes??
And another thing–I’ve decided that I’m going to make a museum of all the odds and ends I find on my walks. It’s crazy but every time I take a walk I inevitably find something new (or old), don’t ask me what. Mostly knickknacks, gadgets, little things, Lego people and baby shoes. I suppose I have found enough thingamajiggers to fill a dozen Lost-and-Found boxes. I kid you not.
But the shoes are the biggest find. Which brings me to my shoes. I have two pairs missing at this very moment. One looks like this:
Only instead of being red, they’re blue and instead of saying “SMILE,” they say something like, “JOY” or “SHOOT ME,” but I can’t remember which, so let’s leave it at that because, if you ask me, my memory is shot.
I’m also missing a pair of black sandals that look kind of like–oh well, you know what black sandals look like, don’t you? These have a one–or is it a two-inch heel?–and if you find either pair, there’s a reward.
And the reward is one dollar and some Halloween candy I recently found in the pocket of an old sweatshirt that was in a knot at the back of my closet. On the floor, to be precise, a floor that hasn’t seen a vacuum cleaner in years. Yes, the candy is from Halloween 1999, if you can believe that, and now it can be all yours if you find my shoes and trust me, I’ll be one happy camper if you do. Because frankly, it’s driving me crazy that I can’t find either pair.
Which makes me wonder: Did I lose these shoes while on a walk one day? Funny, but I don’t remember coming home barefoot. So I don’t know what to say, but I’m baffled and frustrated and most of all, I’m beside myself, because gosh darn-it, I want my shoes back!
So until they reappear, I’m thinking I’m going to wear these baby shoes, which just need a little stretching here and there. Yes, that’s the ticket, because finders-keepers, after all.