It’s election season and I’m obsessed. I want to know what’s going on every moment of every day in the world of politics. I want to know who’s in the lead in the polls and who put their foot in their mouth. And I need to know what that ghostly fellow, Julian Assange is going to do next. WikiLeaks, wiki-shmeeks!
Well, this I can tell you: All this craziness has me thinking of one thing and one thing only:
Why can’t Justin Trudeau be my president?
It can’t be too difficult to run two countries–not when one of them is Canada. What could be hard about that?
Forget that he’s a hunk. Or that he’s dreamy. He’s got other qualities. Like his smile and his eyes, of course. Plus, he’d never dream of attacking us, not on his worst day. He’s probably heard our national anthem so many times, he can sing it backwards.
And if you’re thinking he’s Canadian and that rules him out as president, what about Ted Cruz? Wasn’t he born somewhere up there?
Finally, Justin Trudeau loves us. You can see it in his eyes. So why not? Maybe I’ll write him a letter and see.
Dear Mr. Prime Minister or Your Highness (not sure the proper way to address you; I’m only American so we don’t know these things),
If you’re listening, please consider joining us in America. The White House is very tony and rich with history. It’s all yours for the next four years if you just say the word. Please put us out of our misery. You have no idea what a circus it is down here, in Uncle Sam territory. I mean, we’ve been holding an election forever!
Frankly, I don’t know how the Brits do it. They voted for Brexit. Within minutes of the announcement their Prime Minister resigned. Another, whose name I can’t recall but who looks like Trump in an alternative universe, Boris something-or-other, was thought to be a contender for the position but he backed out.
Then, yada yada yada, they chose a new prime minister–just like that! No time for debates, rhetoric or accusations. No time for bullying opponents, a la Trump! The whole process took less time than it takes to say, Bob’s your uncle.
And here we are going on Year Two of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Elections. Year Four if you take into account the moment the last presidential inauguration ended because that’s exactly when all the media pundits started speculating about who would run in 2016. Aack!
Incidentally, remember last year when no one took Trump seriously?
He threw his hat in the ring by descending down an escalator and he looked rather silly, if you ask me. I mean, who uses an escalator to make a grand entrance? Such debuts are usually via a curving staircase with red carpeting and elaborate, gold-plated railings. That would’ve been more befitting a king, er, a presidential candidate of Trump’s caliber, don’t you think?
Well, that was over a year ago and how many of us laughed, guffawed and found the very idea of a Trump presidency ridiculous?
Who’s still laughing now?
But I digress.
I’m hoping for an October surprise and by that I mean, for Justin Trudeau, Canada’s magnificent prime minister, to swoop in and save the day!
I mean I watched the Republican National Convention—which scared the bejezus out of me—followed by the Democratic National Convention. Eight nights of speeches—and only one plagiarized.
Which reminds me: Didn’t the beleaguered Bernie followers at the DNC totally remind you of the Ellen Jamesians in the novel, “The World According to Garp.”
Oh, you don’t know what I’m talking about?
Well, in the best-selling John Irving novel—which made for a terrific movie I should add–a group of women known as the Ellen Jamesians, cut out their tongues in support of a young girl who’d been a victim of sexual assault. Somehow, I was worried the Bernie supporters might do something similar as they seemed deeply crushed by the loss of Bernie as a candidate. Luckily though, all they did was tape their mouths shut and cry.
But I digress again.
Prime Minister of the North, what’s it going to take for you to come on down and rescue us from this insanity? Think about it. We’ll leave the light on and a candle burning in the window. We’ll even put out the welcome mat. Seriously, we need you. What the heck, I need you like nobody’s business. So, do the right thing and save us from ourselves!
I saw Justin Trudeau on an interview, and I’m like,” WHO IS THAT?”
I’m in LOVE.
I wonder what the Canadians think about him.
PS. just got back from London. They are VERY afraid of Trump. xx
We are not afraid of him we are worried we might die laughing!
I think the Canadians adore him. But what’s not to like? He’s got class, something I can’t say for the “mangled apricot hellbeast” (a name I love, given to him by an anti-Brexit Scot. Isn’t it a hoot?)
Hmph…We’re even more afraid.
I’ve never looked into how Americans elect their presidents. Here in Australia, our prime minister is elected quickly in comparison to the long and never ending spectacle over there. What’s that all about? Why is it so long and so convoluted? Maybe you’ll explain it to me?
G, I don’t think it became so long until after the onset of cable TV news, 24/7. Cable channels needed content to “feed the beast.” So they started speculating about the elections, earlier and earlier. And it’s absolutely driving the rest of us crazy. I want this to be over and of course, the only outcome I wish to see is the one where Hillary leaves Trump in the dust. Fingers crossed!
Well, if Trump wins, we could all just move to Canada!
I’m with you! Though, from how I see it, you already have a head start!
I’m beginning to like Justin Trudeau more and more Monica, I’ve watched him for a while now – he’s young, progressive and um, well, good looking. That photo with the pandas, how do you resist that? Could you please ask Mr Trudeau if he would consider moving here permanently? or even a six month term to begin with, that way he could organize Canada first, he is their Prime Minister after all. Once the Obamas move out, the White House will be ready for him and his family, we could organize a large welcome party. I’m with you. Let’s do it.
I feel like Trudeau is like a young Obama. He’s going to do great things. Meanwhile, Trump tramples more and more in muddy waters. Here’s hoping it’s quicksand!
Ha! If today’s press about the video he’s touring as blood money is anything to go by …tanking campaign perhaps?
Aw, who couldn’t love somebody who loves pandas so much?!? Monica, I’m with you on one thing — this election season has gone on FAR too long. I’m frankly sick of the yelling…and the posturing…and the name-calling. I’m tired of switching the channel to something less controversial — say, to Food Network! — when I hear the talking heads start screaming. I’m ready for the whole thing to be over and done with…though I shake in my bunny slippers when I think of the outcome. And it worries me that others will be so tired of the whole ordeal that they’ll refuse to go to the polls on Election Day, something we just can’t allow.
Debbie, I would like to see a bill passed that prohibits election season starting any earlier than six months prior to the election.
A six month election season would be more than enough!
Another good post Monica.
Over here our Government is dragging it’s heels about getting us out of the EU, so for entertainment we are casting our eyes your side of the Atlantic.
Over here we all normally sit quietly listening to speeches then at the end mutter things like here here, and well said old chap. Over your side they shout, scream and wave things in the air, it’s far more entertaining.
As for the Canadian leader I must admit I know nothing about him, my late mother always went on looks, she chose the person to sell her house some years ago simply because he had a nice smile she said.
I hope for your sanity over there you don’t come up Trumps!!!
Thanks, Robert. I don’t understand his supporters though Lord knows I’ve tried. All I come up with is racism and discrimination and a desire for isolationism on their part. We are two countries in one. Sigh.