Last night after Henry’s appetite was satiated, thanks to a dinner of salmon and rice, and after a rather pleasant constitutional, the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel rested idly on the couch. With all the reverence I could muster, I said this to his Highness (whom without any question, descends from royalty):
“Master Henry, as I am heading to the country soon for a long, relaxing weekend, would you be so kind to post a blog in my stead?”
Henry stretched his front paws, idly gazing at his extended claws, which he determined were in need of a trim, and lackadaisically replied with a yawn,
“So you’re asking me again, is that it? Why, is the Boy Wonder not available?”
He meant, of course, Oliver, who runs amuck around the house, pretending to be a super hero, running faster than the speed of lightning. And often, it’s true.
“Well, Henry, you know Oliver doesn’t have the flair for writing that you have.”
“Indeed Cook, he does not,” Henry sighed. “But then, he’s not of royal blood, either.”
“No, only you are, well, so blessed,” I generously concurred. At which, Henry purred like a kitten.
I continued, “So will you write something on my behalf? Don’t forget, the San Diego Public Library is hosting a How-To Festival and I’ve already agreed to lead a session on the upside of divorce. So it’s very important you ask my readers for suggestions on what I should include in my workshop and also see if they’ll share as to what helped them find the positive side to their divorce.”
“I will do no such thing,” Henry blustered. “Doesn’t seem proper, not a bit. What if they say they have nothing to report?”
“That’s okay. After all, not everyone’s been divorced, so I don’t expect everyone to have an answer or a recommendation.”
“What if they’re offended by such an impertinent question?”
“Then they won’t answer at all, which is fine, too.”
“Oh I see how it is,” Henry persisted. “Leave it to me to do your dirty work while you gallivant in the countryside with friends. I won’t have it!”
“It’s no big deal if you can’t bring this up, Henry. I can ask them another time. The How To Festival is not until May.”
“Well, it’s just not right to put this upon me. I myself know nothing of divorce. Can’t imagine it’s any fun.”
“It isn’t. It’s awful, really, but I came out of it okay. Even better off than I was before, and that’s what I want to convey. That there’s some good to come out of it. There’s hope.”
“If you want my two shillings, you should advise your workshop attendees to adopt a dog. One like me should do it. After all, look at all the joy I’ve brought you, puttering around this old place! The Boy Wonder adds nothing to your life or mine, but where would you be without me??”
“Not sure that’s true, Henry, but you are special. I’ll tell everyone to get themselves a dog, one of your caliber that they can serve regally and fret over ad nauseam, as I do for you. A dog of, er, high maintenance, if you will.”
“Yes, that’s the ticket,” concurred Henry before doing a double take. “Wait! Did you call me high maintenance? How dare you. How rude! Now, fetch me a bone, Cook, to chew while I ponder over what I’m going to write. That’s if I decide to write.”
Just then, I heard a loud whir and felt a rush of wind tunnel through the room. I looked up but didn’t see anything out of the norm. Still, I felt something in my hand that hadn’t been there before. It was then I realized the Boy Wonder, aka, Oliver, had flurried by, faster than the speed of light, and had handed me a sheet of paper. A scribble of words filled the page. Slowly, I made out the heading. (Alas, penmanship was not Oliver’s forte.) Here’s what it said:
The Boy Wonder Writes a Blog
The First Posting by Oliver Twist, Maltipoo Extraordinaire
Wow, I thought, as I began to read the rest. The kid really can write!
“Um, Henry,” I said. “Looks like you won’t be needing to write a post in my absence after all.”
Confused, Henry gave me a blank stare.
Tune in next week to find out what Oliver wrote. In the meantime, any thoughts or suggestions for my divorce survival guide workshop are much appreciated!
Oliver as an author? Well that will put Henry’s nose right out of joint. Looking forward to reading Oliver’s blog post.
Trust me, Judith. Henry’s nose couldn’t be more out of joint. He never thought he’d get out-foxed by a Maltipoo, who apparently has been chomping at the bit for his moment in the limelight. Henry’s definitely in a tizzy over it. Sheesh!
You have talent falling off the couch! So fortunate for you.
Thanks, Val. They’re falling and tumbling and lucky for me, they too have a passion for the written word! heh-heh.
Oh I am excited to see what little Oliver can do when left to alone to create a blog post. You are fortunate indeed to call upon both Henry and Oliver to help you, I wish my little ladies would help me. Although Henry seems royally aghast at having to serve you, he may change his mind once Oliver has contributed his bit.
I have some near and dear ones who have been through a divorce recently. They are starting to believe in time; time to heal their hearts, time for themselves and plenty of gratitude. Some dancing, plenty of exercise; running and zumba, and quiet meditation as well.
MM, I think you’ll quite enjoy what the little rascal has to say. After all, he’s no royal so he doesn’t have any airs about him. Just an average Joe, or shall we say, Oliver?
Monica, you’re so fortunate having TWO substitute bloggers to call on!! I’m quite curious over what Oliver has penned, too.
As for helping out with your request, I’ll be glad to do so. Perhaps time is the greatest healer when it comes to divorce. It also seems helpful if the two people are living FAR apart and not having to run into each other routinely. And focusing on making your life as full and meaningful as possible — that is, get involved in something you’re passionate about, take a class, change your career, learn a new skill, don’t cut yourself off from friends (but if the friends were close to both of you, maybe some new friends might be in order). Hope that helps. If not, holler and I’ll dig up some more!
Well, Oliver hasn’t always. He’s still making final edits to his work, even though I’ve told him at least 10 times that it looks good to me. But he doesn’t want Henry to outdo him. Sigh. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…
In all my life I have only had two friends get a divorce, they were both idiots and to blame. I agree with getting a dog. They are loyal and never cheat, unless they are offered treats of course. Come to think of it that’s perhaps why men cheat, they are offered treats!!!
Also I was reminded of the saying that if a man marries his mistress it creates a vacancy to be filled!!!
I presume any missive by Henry would be written in Royal Blue Ink!!!
Just a thought if Oliver is the Boy Wonder does that make Henry Batman? He has the mask around his eyes.
I don’t think Henry though it through when he decided to dub the little lad, the Boy Wonder. After all, he said it with a touch of sarcasm. He’d be most annoyed to be Batman as it’s not becoming of a king. 😉