A wall is a wall is a wall–or is it?

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall on one.

Pink Floyd made an album about one and, to this day, it’s considered one of the greatest albums of all time.

In Israel, you can pray to one.  In Washington, D.C., you can find the names of Vietnam veterans forever engraved on one. And in Seattle, there’s one in Pike Place Market entirely covered with globs of used chewing gum.

Of course, who can forget when President Ronald Reagan asked Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev to tear down one in Berlin?

Walls. Too many to count. Some good, some bad, some useful, some necessary. Some inconsequential and some that serve no logical purpose at all.

Someday, maybe I’ll have a chance to visit the Great Wall of China. Until then, my favorite wall is the one I came upon while in Prague. A colorful tribute to the memory of John Lennon, it is a thing of beauty, not only for its artistic embellishments, but because it evolved organically. Passers by add to it and I was glad to leave a tiny bit of myself on that wall.

Houses and buildings have walls, it goes without saying, and and thank goodness bathrooms have walls because Lord knows, walls come in handy for those moments when privacy is what’s needed.

And then there’s Trump’s wall. The wall to end all walls, if you ask me.

I mean, does Trump really think a wall will stop folks from coming into this country? Perhaps he hasn’t heard of underground tunnels like the one El Chapo’s henchmen built for him so that he could escape from prison.

The John Lennon wall in Prague

Tunnels like those are a dime a dozen. In fact, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve turned on the news to learn that law enforcement found yet another tunnel at the border. Sure, they destroy them when discovered, but it doesn’t take long for another to spring up. Where there’s a will there’s a way, if you know what I mean.

So let’s say we build Trump’s wall and Mexico actually pays for it. Well, news flash: there’s more than one way to enter the U.S., and ain’t no wall going to stop anyone from finding their way into this country.

Maybe Trump doesn’t know that immigrants can come in legally and legitimately with visas. All they need do is hop a plane or board a boat. But sometimes, while they’re here, their visas expire and next thing you know, they’re here without the proper  documentation.

Now, let me be clear:  I’m not saying that’s right, but I can assure you that building a wall–I don’t care how high–won’t prevent this from happening. That wall is just a ruse. For the record, a lot of these folk aren’t coming from Mexico, anyway. They’re coming here from Europe, South America, Australia, China and any other place you can name. That’s a fact. I once met a college-educated guy, very attractive, who hailed from Norway. His visa had expired yet he was still here, living in Southern California and holding down a good job. Get my point?

So, let’s say this wall is built. Who’s going to monitor it 24/7 to make sure no one sneaks in over, under or around it? Trump doesn’t say anything about hiring more border police to secure the wall, so honestly I don’t know. He’s going to have to build that wall pretty high to discourage folk from climbing over it. Statue of Liberty high.

And what color is this wall going to be? Will it be a solid color, like brown or green? No one has said. Maybe it can be painted the state colors of every state it traverses. Personally, I prefer bold, bright colors.

Perhaps a mural can be painted on it, depicting milestones in American history on the U.S. side of the wall, and the story of how we took land from Mexico on the Mexican side of the wall. That way, at least those that try to come into the U.S., but are stymied by the wall, can use it as an opportunity to learn history.

My vote is to paint a floral landscape on the wall with beautiful, brilliant flowers of every hue and grandiose majestic landscapes. After all, we’re going to have a lot of space to fill on that wall. Besides, if we’re going to have a wall, it might as well be pretty to look at.  Easy on the eyes.

I’m visualizing setting up cafes along Trump’s wall, with red checkered tablecloths, and baskets piled high with crusty loaves of bread. How about some vendors with flower carts and fresh produce harvested from local farms? And strolling entertainers who sing, juggle, or play a mean violin or saxophone?

Let’s be whimsical and have a replica of Humpty Dumpty sitting on top of the wall so that anyone who makes it to the top can have their picture taken with the egg-shaped fellow.

After all, if Trump’s going to build a wall, might as well make the most of it and use it as an attraction for tourists and whatnot. We’ll need a souvenir stand that sells miniature replicas of the wall on key chains and postcards that say, “Trump’s Wall: Wish you were here.”

Before you know it, we’ll turn it into a thriving community–thereby transforming Trump’s wall into a focal point of the Southwest. It’ll be a commercial success that everyone will flock to, and who knows? With any luck, it’ll be added to the National Register of Historic Places. If you ask me, that beats the alternative.