I can’t watch the presidential elections anymore. I can’t. I absolutely cannot!
It’s killing me. If I hear one more insult, one more low blow, I’m going to run for the hills. And by that I mean Canada or, better yet, back to Brazil. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Just spent two weeks there and the best part? No political drama.
Seriously, have you been following the presidential elections as I have? Well, it’s a crazy circus, that’s what it is. A bunch of clowns on the high wire with no trampoline to catch them when they fall. And believe me, they fall, you can take that to the bank.
Actually, it’s more like the Three Stooges but instead of Larry, Curly and Moe poking each other in the eye and slapping themselves silly, we have Trump, Cruz and Rubio doing a great imitation of the Stooges. Frankly, it’s enough to make my blood boil, all my hairs stand on end and put my panties in a twist. It’s enough to make me want to jump off a cliff, trust me.
I. Can’t. Take. It. Anymore!
OMG, where does one end and the other begin??
Yikes, spikes. Somebody, talk me down before I succumb to this Bermuda Triangle.
I know what I must do! I must think of something else to calm me. I know! I’ll think about Brazil. Lovely Brazil. Warm weather, balmy breezes, nice people, walks along the beach…the sunset. Sigh, I never felt so relaxed…
Wait. Did Trump really get into a kerfuffle with the Pope? Did he just say what he said and did Cruz really lie about Carson dropping out of the race back in Iowa?
And whatever happened to Sarah Palin after she endorsed Trump, for crying out loud? What, did Trump do–eat her for breakfast? Could be and wouldn’t blame him. After all, she was her usual incoherent self when giving her endorsement, and Trump sure looked embarrassed as she meandered through her speech. A shame, really, especially since I wanted to find out where she got that porcupine jacket she was wearing that day. Now I guess I’ll never know.
Antonio Carlos Jobim. Ah, such a nice, smooth beat. A little dancing in the moonlight…under the stars. A girl could get used to this…
And why does Rubio think he won South Carolina? And Cruz, too, for that matter. Cruz fired his communications director because of the Rubio video about the bible. Seriously? That Rick Tyler has done much worse, if you ask me. Um, Carson, anyone? Oh my blood is getting ready to boil again!
I need to stop watching and decompress. Think happy thoughts, Monica. Yeah. That’s the ticket. Oh yeah, Where was I? Brazil. Samba. Sergio Mendes and buff men.
What’s that? Trump wants to build a wall and make the Mexican president pay, but the Mexican government isn’t buying it? So Trump is going teach them a lesson by building an even bigger wall? Awkward.
Suddenly, I’m feeling like Alice in Wonderland and I need a pill to make it all go away. The crazy talk, the mean-spirited clatter, the down and dirty clamor of the Presidential Campaign that seems to go on forever. Calgon, take me away and back to Brazil!
Brazil, Brazil. Such beauty, so exotic. Like an orchid. The rainforest, the trees, the folk art, fresh, juicy pineapples. Brazil, where the nuts come from. Brazilian nuts. Nuts, nuts…that reminds me of something…oh yeah—the crazies!
I can’t stop thinking about the insane elections! The taunts, the who’s-sweating-more and who’s putting on more makeup. Worst is all the name calling!
The con artist (Trump), the choke artist (Rubio), the liar (Cruz), the baby (Rubio again).
TrusTED, Feel the Bern, Make America great again.
What in blazes is going on? When will this merry-go-round end?
Brazil! How soon can I go back??