NaBloPoMo DAY 20:
So the other day in the office, somebody brought in a pie for Jill’s birthday. It was one of those delicious cream pies that’s a whole lot of cream and little else, and anyway, the pie was supposed to be for everyone to share and someone–I’m not saying who–was supposed to cut a slice for each of us. Though it was a small pie, true, it would’ve been the right thing to do. Right?
So we sang the obligatory seven rounds of “Happy Birthday,” right down to the part where someone said to Jill how she looks like a monkey and smells like one, too. (I agree, by the way.) Then we watched as Jill blew out the candles. Which is when things went terribly awry.
For, as the person who brought the pie was about to start slicing it, someone made a joke and Jill laughed so hard, she keeled over and, in the process, her head ended up in said pie.
But instead of lifting her face out of the pie and apologizing for making a mess of it, like anyone else might do, she proceeded to eat up the pie in one fell swoop. Like it was all for her, and not meant for the rest of us to share. Can you imagine??
So, the rest of us watched in stunned silence before heading back to our desks with nary a smattering of pie passing our lips, suffering, too, from excess salivation at the thought of the promised pie. Jill licked up every last bit of it, without any apologies.
And, when she finally came up for air, and saw we’d all left, she exclaimed,”Where did everybody go? I ate my birthday pie and it was darn good!”
Lesson Learned: Jill’s a good egg, but just don’t get her near a pie, because then she’ll turn on you like a mean monkey, wanting it all for herself. If you ask me, she could learn a thing or two about sharing.
So friends, that’s what happened the day we celebrated Jill’s birthday in the office, and, frankly, I wasn’t too happy about it. In fact–
Um, in looking at the photo more carefully, on second thought, this photograph may have been taken at a pie-eating contest held last summer during the staff picnic. If memory serves me well, and usually it doesn’t, Jill didn’t even win. She wasn’t even a distant second.
Oh well, I guess my birthday pie story is one heck of a pie story. Though I tend to believe it, just the same. After all, Jill seems to be just the kind of person who’d want her cake and eat it, too. Or pie, as is the case here.
Of course, if you have a better, pie-in-the-sky story, that explains how Jill got her face in the pie, please share it with us.
I’m taking part in NaBloPoMo–30 days, 30 posts, with only 10 more to go! There’s a contest and the winner takes all. And by all, I mean a $20 Amazon gift card. So, what are you waiting for? Comment below!
How have I missed all of your posts? You are so funny and I have been missing you! I have been thinking “Monica must be busy because I haven’t seen any posts from her”. For some reason my email hasn’t been getting these. I’ll keep checking in!
And here I thought you were over me! 😦
In any case, I’m glad it wasn’t something I said.
Seriously, though, you’re the second person to recently tell me this. How frustrating! You may need to re-subscribe for I don’t want you miss a single more post! 🙂
Jill is one good friend…one of many I’m sure.
I don’t know about the one of many, but she certainly makes the workplace a little nicer everyday!
Great tall pie story. Did you tell Jill you were telling pie stories about her? Sort of mean, in a terribly funny way.
Oh I sure did. She is really very sweet and was tickled pink about it. Her exact words were, “I love it and most honored to be in the lexicon of your imagination.”
Now, isn’t that the nicest, considering she can be a mean monkey when she sets her mind to it? 😉
Reblogged this on MrMilitantNegro™.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. J!
Thanks for the giggle, Monica!!! xxx
My pleasure, Kim. After all, I love a good laugh at someone else’s expense!
I was going along my merry way, giggling at Jill’s birthday pie eating fest, until you turned it around. You are so good. Then, I glanced at the photo just to be sure and sure enough, there is another person in it with their head in a pie as is Jill. Looks like so much fun. I would hope you all get a share of pie, no way should one eat pie alone, er, unless it is a contest of course.
You are a regular Nancy Drew! I love how you figured it out, by noticing someone else eating pie. Well guess what? That person you can barely see was the one that won! He won the pie-eating contest. He was way faster than the, ahem, birthday girl!
Definitely a pie in the sky story, or at least it would be if the pie was in the sky. Even more so if it was a picture of a pie, it’s missing one important ingredient of any pie and that’s the pie case for the filling!!!
But the picture reminds me of a little story…. My mom is 86 years old, I know that because she keeps telling me she will be 87 next year. Mind you she spent all last year telling me she would be 86 this year.
One evening recently the wife and I were visiting and we were having a meal with her, it was evening and like many of that age she gets tired, we noticed her nodding off and leaning forward over her meal, and just in time disaster was averted preventing her from going head first into the gravy.
The picture you posted Monica reminded me of that event.
I love how this story of crazy Jill reminded you of your mom. How sweet indeed. How comical, too.
Monica, you had me going on this one! That is, until I got a closer look at the picture and noticed Jill was wearing summer clothes — and had a nice tan to boot. So talk about a vivid imagination — you’ve certainly got one. Hope Jill has a good sense of humor, for it would be just plain MEAN to scarf down an entire pie, while your co-workers are salivating!!
For me, Debbie, the obvious is never enough. I love coming up with new scenarios as to why someone does what they do. It’s really more fun that way!
Does this set an office precedent? What kind of pie are you asking for on your birthday?
Lisa, I’m asking for a chocolate cream pie, and I will eat every last speck without sharing one iota. That’s the plan and I’m sticking to it!