Doctor Monica, At Your Service!

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Dear Dr. Monica,

Val, of QBG Tilted, asks, Why are people so stupid and can I hit them with bricks?

First of all, Missy, leave the bricks at home. They’re not just there to hold your house together, you know.

Now, let’s get to your question, shall we? Why are people stupid? You might as well be asking me, why does a boy named Buster Brown and his dog, Tige, live in a shoe? Or, why did the chicken cross the road?

Because. That’s why!

But, I’ll be frank. As you know, Dr. Monica has the answer to everything, and what I don’t know I make up, plain and simple. So I will answer your question in a very thoughtful way:

A wise woman once said, people are either selfish or stupid. And she is right. Take the ones who don’t clean up after their dogs. Selfish! Or the fella who thinks he’s being funny when he boards a plane and says he has a bomb. Stupid! How about The lady at a party who gets tipsy and then puts a lampshade on her head, when you and I know that putting a lampshade on your head is no longer fashionable. Stupid strikes again!

But is that any reason to hit them with a brick? A two-by-four, maybe, but not a brick, no sir! For eventually, these are the very same folk who end up tanking in a dark corner, and flicking their spittle everywhere. Pretty soon no one’s hanging out with them, except maybe other stupid people, and they’re off somewhere singing “100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall,” and try getting that ear worm out of your head!

The social demise of stupid people can take anywhere from five months to fifty years, but don’t you worry. They all get their comeuppance in good time. So next time you feel like throwing a brick at one of them, sit back and wait instead. And while you’re waiting, maybe you can take that two-by-four and whittle something nice for yourself. Hold on to your bricks or donate them to the Three Little Pigs. I hear they’re in need of a sturdier home.

And, in the words of Forrest Gump, who once said many times, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

Well said, Mr. Gump, well said.

 

Georgette asks,

My husband wants a pair of recliners, one for him and one for me. From what I understand recliners are a real design faux pas …but the ones he is eying have the name Lazy-Boy on them which in my book is pretty fancy. To recline or not to recline (in the living room)…that is my question.

Georgette, I’m sorry but I’m with your husband. After all, you reach a certain age, a point in your life when all you really need and want to do is get comfy and recline. To put your legs up and feel the stress and pressure of gravity slip away.

So why should you deny yourself that? Recliners aren’t tacky, they’re what nature intended for us. Some of our most brilliant thinkers and inventors found inspiration while reclining. It is said that General George Washington decided to cross the Delaware after spending the night reclining, and the rest as they say is history. Who knows what good you’ll accomplish by reclining. Your grand kids will come over more often just so they can get in on your reclining action, too.

So, recline already! Join the club! Yes, I am a closet recliner, now it can be said. I love me a good recliner and mine isn’t as fancy as the ones you can find at Lazy-Boy, which is the father of all recliners. So, if it was good enough for Joey to buy recliners for him and Chandler (See “Friends,” episode 39, titled “The One Where Ross and Rachel…You Know”), and if it’s good enough for me to doze off every night while watching Brian Williams, then my dear, it’s good enough for you and your hubby. Enough said.

 

My Inner Chick asks,

Why doesn’t God answer my prayers NOW, today, immediately!??????????

Kim, that’s a lot of question marks. Which makes me think, you must really want to know the answer. So, just for you I did a little research, and then I followed it with a little introspection, and here’s what I came up with:

Good news, Kim. He does answer them. In his own way, of course. You just need to sit silently and listen to his reply. For it’s in the breeze and in the beauty of everyday life. When you close your eyes, when you dream, he’s paying attention and replying. Also when you hear Chopin playing on the piano or discover a new shade of lipstick that you adore and must have. That’s him answering your prayers.

He’s in Mr. Liverpool’s kisses and in your father’s hugs. Your mother’s baked goods, too. Not to mention, all the little things that give you strength and courage to go on each day, and breathe and advocate for women. That’s God answering your prayers, including prayers you didn’t even know you had. But you know what Kim? Sometimes those prayers he’s responding to, are other people’s prayers. Like the woman who’s husband abuses her and she prays for guidance and for help, and suddenly she hears your message. That’s God listening and answering and helping you help others when they need it most.

The thing to remember is God just doesn’t have a smart phone and he’s lousy at texting. Forget about Skype. Frankly, there are somethings that are out of his control because he’s put them in yours and mine and everybody else’s. So you may think he’s not answering your prayers, but he is. Trust him, trust yourself, and you’ll see.

A wise little hummingbird once whispered in my ear, “Have faith.” So I’m passing it on to you, along with a great big hug.

 

Now who else has a question?  Dr. Monica is at your service!

 

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17 thoughts on “Doctor Monica, At Your Service!

  1. Your answer to Kim, well that made me a little weepy.

    I laughed a little down my inner thigh when you were answering me though. The problem is, stupid people are rapidly becoming the power in this nation. They are rapidly becoming the standard. Ignorance is taking a front seat and driving the bus. They are going to the polls and electing others who look and sound just like themselves. Are you certain it isn’t okay for me to throw bricks, slap the stupid out fo them?

  2. Knowing both Georgette and Kim, I am a particular fan of this post, which I am reading from a full recline in a Lazy-boy, made to look like a Queen Anne with ball and claw feet. See, it is possible to have both — style and comfort. But when I talk to God, I sometimes feel as if I should be in a slightly uncomfortable position. Don’t know why that is…..

  3. Dr. Monica, you are a wise and wonderful friend, and I totally appreciate your response to Kim. I don’t think anybody could have said that better and with more love!
    As for the recliners, I hadn’t heard they were going out of style. *shrugs* That’s too bad. I guess I’ll have to be unstylish. I look forward to putting up my feet at the end of a long day and if Dallas wants to hop up and join me, so much the better!

  4. The recliners won! Initially you thought they were a great idea, so I went with them. There they sit in our living room pointed towards the fireplace and the TV. I will have to take pictures and send you some. Thank you, Dr. Monica, as does my husband, mother, brother, my daughters, son-in-law, and grandson. All of them found a seat in one this weekend as we celebrated husband’s b’day. I will have to be sure there’s a side table to accommodate the snacks, drinks and goodies.

  5. Oh Dr. Monica, you are a wise one, I love that god does not text or Skype, he can’t can he? He would be too busy, imagine his iPhone or Samsung( which one would he pick)? if he opened it up to all those tests? I believe Chopin, Mozart and the divine are all linked for what it’s worth. Now for stupid and selfish, well, you’re absolutely right there. If you watch them carefully and let them be, there’s a lot of entertainment in it. Dr. Monica, you have just made my afternoon!

  6. My, you’re such a good question answerer, Dr. Monica. If I may, I’d like to pose a question. How do I suggest to my boss that I want one of those cart riders like in the grocery store instead of me being on my feet all day? I know it’ll take up a lotta space but I really don’t care. Please, help.

  7. I vote yes on the recliner, too! Even though this isn’t a democratic process. :p Lazy Boy is a great brand, too from what I understand. Also heard good things about Ethan Allen a while ago for style meets comfort.

    • I hereby pronounce a National Recliner Day! Where we celebrate our recliners by spending the entire day relaxing in one. Wouldn’t that be sweet? I love Ethan Allen, btw, and much of my furniture is from that store, including my bed and super comfy mattress. But I don’t recall them making recliners. My recliner is from JC Penney. It’s small to fit my condo and a perfect size for me. I love it! Thanks for reading–and special thanks for commenting. I so appreciate hearing from you!

  8. If you were any wiser you would be according to other wise people the wisest wise woman in the whole wise world…….

    I am with you on the recliners, but I would add a small table at the side with refreshments, such as a drink with a straw and a selection of little savoury snacks.

    As for listening for God, I refer the wise woman to my blog post of yesterday, the husband was right in my blog by the way it was a long day……

    In answer to your comment about stupid people, without them us sensible people would not stand out and shine.

  9. ****when you hear Chopin playing on the piano or discover a new shade of lipstick that you adore and must have. That’s him answering your prayers.***

    You are beautiful and brilliant and wise, Monica.

    Love love love this so much! xxxxxxxxxxxx

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