For all the folks who went to visit family for the holidays, and are now snow-bound in some airport, trying desperately to return home, (I’m talking to you, Clare and Jill!) here’s a solution for the future. Save yourself some trouble and–
Yes I know. This is the time of year when we all want to be with family, and are willing to travel thousands of miles to spend a few days catching up with loved ones. Big deal. Look what it’s gotten you. A whole mess of aggravation. Because if you ask me, with the weather getting more and more unpredictable each year, said loved ones might as well be living in Antarctica. Because that’s how freezing cold it is wherever they are. Brutally cold.
If you stay home, on the other hand, you don’t have to cope with the madness of traveler’s on the road, in the train and in the air. No airport security on your horizon! No having to wait on long lines to take off your shoes, your belt, your jacket, your scarf, etc. Unless, of course, you’re taking them off because you’re planning to get cozy in front of the TV; then, by all means.
Staying home means time to bake cookies, catch up on your favorite TV shows, do some leisurely shopping online, and get lost in a good book with no interruptions from Aunt Agatha, who you know wants to talk about her sciatica.
Plus, think of all the money you’ll save by not booking that flight to the hinterlands! Now, maybe you’ll be able to buy everything in your Amazon shopping cart.
Nowadays, you don’t need to do all that crazy traveling to spend quality time with the relatives. Not when we have Skype and FaceTime. And don’t forget, you can always plan a reunion via Facebook. Or maybe host a twitter party for all the rels! I bet they’d like that. After all, isn’t it time Uncle Charlie and Cousin Betty set up an account, anyway?
How about this? Instead of opening the presents around the tree, open them via conference call. Mom and Dad are sure to have more fun trying to imagine the thrill on your face when you open your gift to find practically the same set of pajamas they’ve been giving you every year.
Besides, if the relatives really wanted to see you, they’d fly out to visit you. Chances are you live in a much warmer climate than they do. After all, they raised you to have sense!
So, let them deal with trying to get back to their snowbound homes. Let them slip on the ice as they load their suitcases into their cars, and freeze their tuchas (That’s Yiddish for “posterior,” in case you’re wondering) in the process. You’ll be content and secure knowing you’re warm and comfy in front of a roaring fire, with not a care in the world.
And if you still feel the need to visit the parental units, may I suggest going in the spring or summer, when the weather is much more, ahem, reasonable? Just a thought.
Incidentally, there’s a caveat to this solution: None of this applies to my daughter (So Sarah, if you’re reading this, don’t even think about it!). I expect her home every year for the holidays, and I, of course, will stop at nothing to visit her in her arctic, blustery home in the Midwest. Weather permitting, that is. 😉
And that’s my two cents!