Dear Diary,
I’m on tenterhooks, awaiting news of the Queen’s Jubilee. Each morning, when Cook leaves for the day, I switch the channel on the telly to the BBC, in hopes that I will learn more about preparations for the festivities. I pray I soon secure my passage to Britain, so that I, too, may partake in the most anticipated event of the century!
In the meantime, my birthday milestone is quickly approaching and I have not as yet heard what is planned for me. My own Jubilee, perhaps, replete with fireworks and a basket of tennis balls, procured for my enjoyment? A new cashmere bed? Or, a platter of delicious morsels to indulge my palette? Or maybe, Cook has finally commissioned my portrait to be done, with the expectation that someday it will hang at Buckingham Palace. What a fetching swath I will cut when my likeness adorns the palace walls!
To be certain, I can only assume that, as I am turning five, Cook and Valet have something keen in store. No doubt a surprise, in which the who’s who of London will be on the A List, including the Queen herself! But please, don’t let the Kardashians or the Salahis crash my soiree! Most unbecoming!
In order to prepare for my portrait sitting, I am determined to get into shape. Which means, as of today—no, make that as of tomorrow—I will increase the number of my daily constitutionals by four. Generally, there are three types of constitutionals I enjoy: The ones in which I’m escorted by Cook, the mid-day strolls with Nanny, and the rather frolicking ones in which my valet accompanies me.
Of course, the first line of duty, when I begin my walk, is to allow my fellow canine brethren, to greet me by permitting them to sniff my, ahem, never mind. No need to go into all that. Suffice it to say, it’s an obligation that comes with the royal throne. I am a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, after all. Noblesse oblige, I say.
Each morning, Cook takes me on my first walk of the day. ‘Tis a brisk one and quite exasperating, actually, because it is my desire to stop and smell the flowers, the trees, the fire hydrants and the lamp poles, but Cook is soon annoyed by my lackadaisical demeanor, as she is often in a rush to leave for the day, continuously mumbling under her breath something about wanting to “beat the traffic.” Whatever that means.
Cook rarely allows me to romp in the grass as the carefree lad that I am. She’s concerned about my knees. A few years ago, I had to have surgery for a luxating patella—a slipped kneecap—and the royal vet recommended I rest my knee. I believe he meant during the recovery phase, but Cook took it to mean, for the rest of my life. As I plan to live forever, that would indeed be a long respite.
The walks with my valet are much more to my liking. He allows me to take the reigns while I pull him full throttle, leading us willy-nilly into the bushes, circling around trees, and changing paths as I see fit. Luckily, I have convinced him that my knees are fine and have told him that if I am to get any exercise at all, he must always bring along a tennis ball. Happily, he is an obedient servant.
I just adore fetch, and the heart wants, what the heart wants. There’s nothing more capital than a good game. Of course, I only run in order to catch the ball. It is beneath me to bring the ball back to my valet. If he wants it that much, he must come to me to retrieve it. Indeed, all dogs should know, that this is far more fair than making us do all the work. After all, we are not heathens. We are dogs, hear us roar!
Lastly, Nanny takes me on my mid-day stroll, along with my friend and canine companion, Lord Shack. The three of us have a merry time and I make sure to nibble at the berries I encounter in the bushes. It is lunchtime, after all!
Diary, that is all for today. The noble life can be exhausting, filled as it is with so many obligations, including walks, and barking at trucks. Speaking of which–here comes one now!
Cheerio!
Monica's Tangled Web 
Henry, you are a doll, I mean a king among dogs!
Lady Becky, Of course I am. As a Cavalier King, I take great pride in being six degrees, or so, from the British throne. You may bow to me anytime! 😉
What a good looking king you are! Prince Charlie better watch his back!
Yes, you’re right! And Prince Harry better watch his as well! 🙂
I so enjoy reading about your privileged life style Henry. I really think it is time you were knighted and became Sir Henry!
Privileged? I think not! Have you seen the rat trap I am forced to endure? No, indeed, Bassa. When I am finally invited to live with the Queen, and join her at the throne, then we’ll see. Then and only then will I be truly living the life of a true nobleman. 😉
If things will work out between you and Roxy, make sure not to forget about us – the commoners. We would love to have a pick at your happy union! As for the Olympics – I do understand that you are Royal and all, but maybe, just maybe when you up there in your Royal box you will think of us and will report of all the gossips, that are going on in the mighty Britain!
Ariana, you are too sweet to be considered a commoner. I will call you a “uniquer.” A very distinguished one at that!
I am so glad to hear the two fancy one another. The world can use another love story.
Yes, and if all goes well, we will be writing our love story soon!
Henry, you don’t look a day over 21!
Why, Miss Country Man’s Wife, I’m blushing! Thank you for reading!
Henry,
if you were here right now, I’d hug hug hug you…
and then I’d kiss your sweet little wet nose :)) Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. xx
Miss Kim, how delightful! I’m just wild about hugs and kisses. I’d adore you, too! 😉
Hello Henry! Mom tried to keep this post from me but I’m glad I snuck up on her and got to see your eloquent and verbose narrative! I’m very happy your birthday’s coming up! That jubilee sounds like quite an event. I do hope Cook and the other minions will cater to your every whim! After all, you are Sir Henry the Brave! Oh, oh! Here comes mom! Keep exercising, Henry! We must stay in shape! Hugs and kisses for you!
Greetings, my little pet! I’m so glad you read my story. Yes, the Diamond Jubilee is quickly approaching and I want a front row seat to all the festivities. Will you come celebrate my birthday with me? Five is a big one, you know. It’s all downhill from here! Hugs to you, Miss Roxy. Stay in the pink!
Okay, Sir Henry, I know you’re royalty and all, but don’t you go telling my Sheltie he needs FOUR walks every day (I’d never get anything done!), and don’t go filling his head with talk about the Queen. I’m the Queen in this house, thank-you-very-much, and nobody here is having any Jubilee!
bwhahaha! I second everything you just said, Debbie! Roxy is already treated too much like a tiny human! Sir Henry, I was thinking of keeping this post confidential but, oh, oh! Here comes the little Miss!
Miss Bella, please do not try to keep us apart. Lady Roxy and I were made for each other. If she wants to write me, so be it, less you want a canine case of Romeo & Juliet on your hands. Tee-hee! Now, where is my Juliet, anyway??
Miss Debbie, Don’t you have unions over there, that protect the rights of us dogs? Four walks a day is the minimum, particularly when one doesn’t have access to a yard. A dog is a human’s best friend, but who is ours? Who will stand up for us and recognize that we have rights, too? It starts with people like you, Miss Debbie. Pet owners. Only then can we all be free citizens of the world!
Only five years old and such a busy schedule! Lol I love your posts like this!
Why, Mr. Nate, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure, though Cook speaks highly of you, to be sure. Anytime you want to stop by and take me for a stroll, is fine with me. Just contact my social secretary. He’ll hook you up, as the Americans say.
Henry is living the glided life. I was wondering if there is room in his castle and if I might be allowed to come live or visit and be pampered as well. Oh please oh please. Wouldn’t be a wonder to really know what our pets are thinking. Do you think Sir Henry and Lady Roxie would get along or consider corresponding … ?
Brenda, Sir Henry, according to Monica, is besotted with little Roxy! But shhhh…don’t tell him I told you! 🙂
Miss Brenda, I’m delighted you ask. Lady Roxy and I have an understanding. We’ve been betrothed to each other for quite some time. It is my hope, one day, to actually be in the same room with her. Perhaps then, we’ll share a drink, a bowl of water, some spaghetti, a la “Lady and the Tramp,” and see what develops, eh? I’m besotted by the little vixen! 😉
Where’s the LOVE button when I want it?
Hugs,
Kathy
Dearest Kathryn, it is the one question I ask myself each day. Where indeed is the LOVE button? Without it, how will I know just how many love me? It’s a puzzlement, of which I one day hope to get to the bottom of. Humph!
I’m impressed by how well you managed your household and have no doubt that all your birthday wishes will come true. You’re a fine, handsome fellow, Sir Henry.
Why, thank you, Jayne. You flatter me, of course, and my I say, you look rather fine yourself! My birthday is still a couple of months away but the way I see it, planning for celebrations of this stature must start early!
Sir Henry, I hope you remember all of Cook’s friends when the invitations are sent out for your own jubilee! I, for one, want to celebrate with royalty.
Susan, I would be delighted if you joined me as my guest. That is, as soon as I discover what the plans are for my birthday. I’m expecting the moon, you know!
Clearly I’m being shortchanged in the walk department. My people need to read this and maybe they’ll figure out that one walk a day is not enough.
Sweet Lola, me thinks you’re correct. I have, at a minimum, four walks per day. More on the weekend. But then, alas, I live in a townhome with no backyard. Thus the only fresh air I get is on these walks. The rest of the time I’m confined to this small, but humble, abode, dreaming of gallivanting on the grounds of Buckingham Palace! 😉
Oh Henry, what a life you have. And tell Cook to lighten up and let you romp around and smell the flowers. We should all be so lucky to treasure those simple moments.
Totsy, I do try to tell Cook, but the dear won’t have any of it. She treats me like the boy in the bubble, afraid the slightest thing will make me sick. But, I say, that’s what insurance is for! Now get me to a park!
The luxating patella is a common bane of us royal canines. Ernie has the condition common to our species known as dry eye requiring meds every day, not fun. Ralphy, who is too young to know about such things is oblivious. We two Japanese Chin, Ernie and Ralphy, of the Samson household send our love and also look forward to your Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Ernie plays with toys and likes to play with our mother’s head scarves but I, Ernie, prefer to rest on the sofa which I was bred to do and do very well, thank you very much. We enjoyed your post. Keep a stiff upper lip and the Diamond Jubilee will be here soon. All our love.
I look forward to meeting Ernie and Ralphy very soon! They sound like marvelous pets. Did you know, rest is my favorite pastime? I never get tired of it! 😉
And the Olympics! Will you be in the Royal Box perhaps?
Eloise, I’m counting on it. The Royal Box, indeed! In my comfy royal chair, to boot. I await my formal invitation with baited breath! 😉
I’m sure the royal invite is in the mail. Cheerio!
Well be sure to let us know when your invitation arrives, after all they missed you somehow on the guest list for the wedding last year. 🙂
Dear Judith, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you. I await good news on the morrow! My pet, please do not remind me the atrocity of being left off the wedding guest list. For heaven’s sake, I don’t know what they were thinking!
Tis shaping up to be a big year for ye Brits between the Jubilee and Charles Dickens’ bicentennial. Enjoy!
I dare say, you are correct and I am all a flutter with the activities. It’s certain to be a Dicken’s of a year!