Henry the Blogger

If you ask me, my dog, Henry, is getting kind of uppity.  Sure, he’s a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, which means he descends from royalty. And, yes, he also expects a certain lifestyle, one befitting a king. Some might even say that Henry is a high-maintenance dog. But that would be an understatement.

Does this dog deserve a blog of his own? Hmm...

Recently, Henry noticed that there are many dogs out there with a blog, and now he has decided that he wants one, too. But here’s the thing: Henry can’t type to save his life. I don’t know how the other dogs do it, like Lola, Bassa or Uptown Dog. They have great blogs. But, when it comes to typing, Henry is all, ahem, thumbs. I’ve tried to teach him the basics. I figured, if he could type with just one paw, he’d be ahead of the game. But he refuses to even learn, and often ends up just pawing at my desk.

Clearly, this is one dog that cannot learn new tricks. Which is why, last night, during dinner, he asked me to be his secretary.  I nearly choked on my peas.

“I beg your pardon, Sir?” (You need to use words like  “pardon” and “Sir” when addressing royalty.)

Henry then said that what he really means is, he wants me to take dictation for his new blog.  But he doesn’t understand that:

  • I’m pretty busy as it is, and can’t take on yet another project, even if it is for a good cause.
  • He barks his thoughts rather slowly, which in turn, would take me forever to write down.
  • Sometimes I can’t figure out what he’s trying to say. Learning bark language isn’t the easiest, you know.  Like one time, when he said, “Cavaliers make amazing….and that’s how I lost my dignity…if only they fed me better.”

That’s all I could get out him. “Make amazing” what? Crocheted sweaters? Annoyances? And what’s this about losing his dignity? I’ll never know.

So I asked Henry, what he would call his blog if he had one.

“Untangling the Web,” was his immediate reply.

Apparently, he’s under the misguided impression that I’ve been successful with my tangled web of a blog, and so, he wants a crack at untangling it.

“After all,” he added, “Your readers have yet to hear my side of the story.”

His side? “What exactly is your side of the story?” I boldly asked. He shrugged and told me I could read about it in his blog, if he had one.

I then said, “A year ago you didn’t even know what a blog is.” He curtly countered that, a year ago, I didn’t have much of a following, and suggested that it is only when I’ve used photos of him that my readership has seen a spike.

“Not true!” I cried. “You haven’t seen my stats lately!” I then reminded him that he cannot have a blog, simply because he cannot type. To which, Henry said, rather miffed, that it was rather unseemly of me to remind a king of his flaws.

Henry retreats in a huff.

Feeling guilty, I said, “Cheer up, little man. I’m happy to write about you in my blog, now and then.”

He, cheekily replied, it’s the then I’m concerned about. The tall person allows Bassa to blog everyday. With you, I’ll be lucky to get exposure twice a year. I pointed out that he likes Roxy and she doesn’t have her own blog.

Which is when he gave me the stink eye, and retreated to one of his many plush beds, looking a bit despondent.

“Well, Henry,” I said, “Is there anything else you want to add in your defense?”

“Blogs about dogs are trending now, you know,” he said, wagging his tail.

Shaking my head, I went to wash the dishes. Oh, Henry, it seems we are at a standstill.

For a royal dog, he’s quite good at laying on the guilt. In fact, you could say, he’s got me feeling rather sheepish these days. Still, I’m not ready to give in and will have to think about this some more. After all, there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

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44 thoughts on “Henry the Blogger

  1. This was hysterical, Monica!! Great dialogue with Henry. He is really a great conversationalist, even if he is just trying to get his way. Hes quite convincing actually. I vote a blog for Henry!!

  2. I think Henry and Buddy the Wonder Dog should write a blog together. Maybe since Henry is a king and all, he could teach Buddy to be more sophisticated. The only thing Buddy the Wonder Dog says is, “Food? Where’s the food? Did you drop food?!” and “stupid cat!” Needless to say, Buddy has issues. Isn’t there some type of program where they can just bark their words into a mic and it will transpose for them? I think Microsoft makes it.

    • Mama Finch! I’m delighted to see you here. Buddy the Wonder Dog and Henry would make quite a team, akin to Felix and Oscar, perhaps? Henry is rather refined and insists we clean his paws whenever he returns from his constitutional. Very persnickety, indeed.

      Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  3. That is one uppity dog. What about paying your dues? Maybe you should bring that to his attention. Or maybe he should have a shot at it. You know not everyone is cut out for blogging. Henry just might be more of a book writer. Of course you’d still need to type.
    Funny!

    • Either way, I’m not looking forward to it. He’s so demanding and I know I’m opening a Pandora’s box of his neurosis if I let him blog. Let’s just say, he knows where the bones are buried, and I hope he doesn’t end up writing a “tell all” book. Yikes. 😉

      Thanks so much for stopping by!

  4. The Dog must have his blog! You’ll need to watch a couple of Star Trek show where Spok does the Vulcan mind meld with captain Kirk. Make sure you understand how it’s done because you will need to do this with that gorgeous pup of yours to gt his info so that you can then turn around a blog for him. When you stop and think about it the Vulcan mind meld is the only sensible thing to do. I love your dog! Can I have him? 😉
    Once again you’ve turned out a great blog! Love ya!
    Merry Christmas friend 🙂

    • So glad you enjoy my blog! Great idea to watch Star Trek and see how Spock does it. Henry and I had a long conversation last night. He insisted I read to him all the comments so he’d know who’s winning–him or me. Well, I think we reached a compromise of sorts in that I am letting him do a guest blog, as soon as I have the time to sit down with him. Though I’m dreading finding out what he has to say.

      Happy Holidays to you, too!

      PS: Henry is available for vacations. He’s always looking for a good place where he can get a little R&R. 😉

  5. Well I do like Henry’s name for his blog. And Lola is a good role model. But does he have the time for this? I’m actually writing a piece about social networking for pets. I’ll mention Henry’s quandry.

    • Well, he may have the time (after all, he spends most of the day napping), but he needs my help and I don’t have the time. Such a dilemma. Pet blogs are so popular, aren’t they? I look forward to reading your on pets and social media. Thanks!

  6. Monica, first of all, Roxy and I thank you for the shout out! You rock, lady, but you already know that! As you know, I’ve been deliberating whether to get Roxy her own blog. I was planning on doing a more photographic type blog with just a few sentences to accompany photos. However, I’ve been holding off because I haven’t had the time. I’m still deliberating whether it’s a good idea or not. Roxy does make a regular appearance on my blog and I think my readers enjoy it. I think Henry should maybe have a weekly appearance on your blog to test the waters. I don’t think you’ll lose readers. If anything, your readers will also follow Henry. I say, give Henry more exposure! We want more photos, more details about his kingly ways, and what he does with his free time! And who knows, maybe when Roxy makes the jump for her own blog, he can follow! 🙂

    • To me, Roxy is synonymous with your blog. She’s beautiful and you capture brilliantly. I’ll have to think about how I can do something similar with Henry. Roxy always looks like she’s posing for you, especially when she’s sitting by a window, overlooking the street below. Henry doesn’t pose at all. Probably most of my photos off him would be of him sleeping. That’s his favorite pose. 😉

  7. —Henry is a dog after my own Heart…
    Sweeeeet.
    I agree. I would not allow him to blog, Monica. He might say something you would not be happy about.
    My cat, Charlie, has been asking this same thing… & I say, “Absolutley NOT. You’ll tell everybody that I call you an Asshole!”
    Not only that, but he’d probably take my readers away from me!
    —-You are magicially creative, M. Xx

  8. Now Monica, you realize that if you cave in to King Henry’s demands, the rest of us with dogs are going to become “secretaries,” too, don’t you? Ah, well, maybe he could have his say now and then, kind of take over your blog for a day or something? Just a thought.

  9. I have the perfect compromise, Monica and Henry. We know that dog photos will always trump human writing, so maybe the writer will agree to tag on to the end of posts little stories about His Royal Highness as one of my favorite blogs does regularly (of course most of the comments end up being about the dog and not the human’s story):

    scroll down for the dog half of the post
    http://french-word-a-day.typepad.com/motdujour/2011/12/se-tromper.html

    and of course the dog garnered so many comments for this one, that he earned his own post with his own fanmail
    http://french-word-a-day.typepad.com/motdujour/2011/12/patate.html

  10. I say give Henry a blog. Maybe he has a once a week post…but clearly this is a dog that has something to say. We could all use a little royalty in our lives.

  11. All I can say is please let Henry know that, without exception, I will not let him add blogging to the list of things I must do when dog sitting him! I still am working hard just to understand why he stops in the middle of a walk and gives me that look of disgust for not understanding where he wants to go and how? I’m drawing the line. Be sure to give him the heads up so he doesn’t get his expectations set too high. 🙂

  12. Henry would be a great blogger. I’m sure he has lots of interesting things to say and his typing skills will improve if you let him practice. Henry, I’m on your side. XO

  13. Thanks for the shout out! I tried typing with my nose, but that took forever and left residue on the keyboard, so now Mom translates for me. It’s an imperfect process, but we have fun with it. Let’s get Henry a blog!

    • You’re welcome,Uptown Dog! You have a very special mom to do that for you. Henry’s going to have to bend over backwards for me before I give in. We’ll see. Maybe a guest post is just the thing.

  14. Too funny! Doesn’t sound like Henry will be muzzled, my dear 🙂
    Interestingly enough, my 11-yo daughter enjoys writing entirely from a dog’s perspective. I think I should consider this before all her journals go missing!
    ~A

  15. I’m going to start a campaign. Rally cry ideas include “Free Henry!”; or perhaps “A Dog Blog for a Blog!”; or “Henry Henry He’s so Fine, He’s so Fine He Blows my Mind Hey Henry!”

    Something like that.

    You are a mean tall person, not letting him speak. And that sentence, you know the one you dismissed?

    “Cavaliers make amazing….and that’s how I lost my dignity…if only they fed me better.”

    Poetry. Unadulterated, brilliant, mind-blowing poetry…

    😉

    • I love your rallying cries, and they may be just the thing to tip the decision in his favor. Glad you enjoyed the post. I love your comment about those words sounding like poetry, but I can’t take the credit. That was all Henry. 🙂

  16. Mmmm, If a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel says he wants a blog- that’s serious, after all we can’t ignore royalty and you know I’m all for giving into royalty 🙂 he must, he must.
    I have always believed dogs were superior and wise – well much more so than people often give them credit, after reading ‘ A Dog’s Purpose’ and Racing in the Rain for young adults, I am convinced. The books had me sobbing and laughing all at the same time. Have you read? I’m about to review one.

    • No, I haven’t read those, so I look forward to your review. You know, Henry descends from British royalty. I’ve seen his kin in many a movie about the kings and queens of Great Britain. Young Victoria comes to mind, but I bet Colin Firth in the King’s Speech had at least one Cavalier, too. So, it’s kind of my six degrees from Colin Firth. 😉

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