Time to Commercialize Divorce

Society doesn’t prepare you for divorce.  Still, you would’ve thought by now that someone would have figured out a way to turn it into a profit-generating machine, much the same way we do with weddings. Makes sense when you consider that half of first marriages and about 75% of second marriages end in divorce. In fact, it is so prevalent that with a little bit of pluck, a company could step right in and turn divorce into a cash cow.

Billions of dollars are poured into weddings each year. Yet, except for all the family lawyers who are raking in the dough, divorce is a poor relation. Let’s face it, divorce doesn’t get half the respect that is reaped upon the marriage vows. For instance, we have bridal showers but no divorce showers, which could come in handy, if you ask me. After all, you end up losing half of your kitchen supplies, linens and furniture in the split.

It wouldn't hurt for someone like Courtney Cox to have a divorce planner.

No divorce planners either. Think how easy it could be! No fuss, no muss because the divorce planner takes care of all the pesky details, like the settlement, drawing up the papers, garnering your ex’s wages if necessary (because he’d rather pay for his girlfriend’s day at the spa than child support). Voila! All you have to do is show up and sign the final decree!

There are no bachelor-again-to-be parties. You can’t place an order for a chocolate raspberry four-tier divorce cake for your Coming Out—Again! party. No divorce bazaars held at the convention center, where you can go and find a good attorney, get some therapy and a much needed massage to relieve you of all the aches, pains and thorns in your side that your spouse gave you. Worst of all, no divorce registries at Pottery Barn—or even Target. Trust me, I could think of at least two dozen items I would have liked to put on that registry.

There is no divorce month. June is for weddings but what’s a good month to sign your divorce papers? For me, it was December. The 7th of December, to be exact, better known as Pearl Harbor Day. A day that will live in infamy, according to FDR.

And where are all the divorce magazines? There are plenty of bridal magazines, but where can I get the latest info, all I need to know about the D word? Martha Stewart is all over weddings. Why can’t she toss us divorcees a bone? Actually, there is one magazine devoted to divorce, aptly called Divorce Magazine, but it’s only published twice a year. I don’t know about you but I couldn’t wait that long for my next issue. If brides can have a monthly magazine, then surely the rest of us should too. In fact, Brides and Divorce Magazine could be sold together. Two for the price of one. What a deal! Might as well, considering that half of all those brides will be wishing they had a magazine on divorce at some point. And who knows? Maybe having an issue of Divorce Magazine sitting on the coffee table would be just the thing to remind newlyweds that it takes effort to make marriage work.

Divorce. It’s a simple, easy to pronounce, two-syllable word that doesn’t begin to convey the agony, the ripping of your insides that getting a divorce can bring. That, and the realization that your world will never be the same. So come on, Corporate America, make a commercial success out of this opportunity! And maybe, just maybe, it’ll help ease some of the pain.

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22 thoughts on “Time to Commercialize Divorce

  1. Seriously, I think you have a brain child of a project on your hands here! It’s never too late and now that you’ve acquired 20/20 hindsight, I think you’re ripe to tap into this “virgin” market and make a bundle. Think about it–making exes eat their hearts out as we make millions off the pain and trauma they inflicted! I can see your name in lights–Monica Medina–divorce coping pioneer! Yeah! At the very least, you could put together a newsletter! Just recently, my friend Corinne Rodrigues started publishing something in Paper.li where you publish your own newspaper from Twitter, Facebook and RSS feeds. Imagine you publishing one of these with just divorce articles! The possibilities are endless, chica! I say, hit that untapped market! Network! Chop, chop! 🙂

  2. All great ideas, and aptly put to the need that arises. I’m slap in the middle of all this %*#) and could really USE a service like this right now. But the most crucial ingredient is an attorney, and I can’t even afford one of those.
    This could probably be a good cottage industry for married couples who have established some sort of wealth. But for the poor (and yes, divorce happens to those of us who are poor or have been bamboozled out of resources by our spouses) it’s probably not going to be a good target market. Guess you could take a “tiered servcies” approach and try to design packages for all levels of income, kind of like they do with satellite tv. There are so many things to do, so much to take care of, I think I might try to find a way to pay someone just to put it in order of importance.

    Nice blog, btw.

    • Lawyers are expensive, even for the middle class. In my case, we got a mediator to help us handle the distribution of our savings, home and to work out a schedule for the kids. What’s done is done, but if I could do it all over, I’d make the investment, go into debt a bit, to get a real lawyer from the get go. I did have to get a lawyer a couple of years down the line when things got intense over money. The lawyer helped, but he could have helped me more if he had been in on it from the beginning (and I probably wouldn’t have had to hire him later). I am all for having a resource fair, one stop shopping opportunity where you can find out what’s out there for those in the throes of divorce, and get info on your rights, process, etc.

      Thanks for your comments. I’m so glad you stopped by to check out my blog and I hope you return soon! Good luck! Time does make things better. Honest.

  3. If I had wrote this blog entry, I would write again from the fundamental of divorcing.

    “Divorce is saying good bye ‘but’ it costs money.” not
    “Divorce is saying good bye ‘and’ it costs money.”

    If you going to do, let me know. Because I will write too. gggbgggb@gmail.com

  4. And for those seeking a new career, try life-coaching for the recently divorced. You could also specialize in the separation phase. And by the way, I have seen a big party of middle-aged men celebrating their friend whose divorce decree was just finalized.

    You captured this with such wit, and I found it very thought-provoking.

  5. Pingback: Tweets that mention Time to Commercialize Divorce « Monica's Tangled Web -- Topsy.com

  6. Actually, I believe divorce planners have already popped up (I even found “The modern woman’s divorce guide” during a quick google search), and I remember some months ago I read about a company that actually offers divorce insurance : http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2010/09/23/2010-09-23_divorce_insurance_unromantic_wedding_gift_could_save_you_if_the_union_fails.html (sorry, still need to figure out how to place links nicely in the comments)

    Also, a friend of mine went on a divorce-moon recently – she had a great time btw. So if you wanna make money out of it, you’ll have to hurry! 🙂

  7. Esta muy acertado este artículo. Es tan real que el proceso de divorcio es tan dificil como lo que viene despues y que nadie esta preparado para eso y no hay quien te ayude en la generalidad de los casos, porque de lo que se traa es de c{omo cada quien siente las cosas y las enfrentas. Como abogado te digo que me ha tocado duro en algunos casos cuando el divorcio se pone dificil por problemas sentimentales o de dinero, generalmente lo segundo es lo mas común. Lo cierto es que termino siendo un psicologo, amigo, confidente y aun asi no puedo ayudar demasiado porque me tengo que ocupar de lo legal mas que de otra cosa y a veces o la mayoria de las veces no concuerdan una cosa con la otra. Seria interesante eso de la revista para divorciados y que saliera todas las semanas. Seguramente no faltarán personales que puedan estar ahi cotnado sus experiencia y ayudando a los que estan en esos procesos. Me encantan tus artículos, me hacen pensar!!!!!!. Besos

  8. This made me laugh, and also made me want to cry. You’re so right – we’re walking alongside a friend of ours who is going through a painful divorce, and there is very little in the way of support or knowing what to do. He relies on the wisdom and guidance of his attorney, who dispenses it at a gazillion pounds an hour. I think you should write a book, or start a support group … do you know that saying, “he who has the vision gets the job”? Well? 🙂
    Sunshine xx

    • Thank you for suggesting I have the vision. Now all I need is the time! But honestly, I’ve thought about this a lot and quite frankly we need to de-stigmatize divorce and just embrace it. At least accept that it is here to stay so we might as well find ways to support it–while making money off of it. After all, t’s not fair that only lawyers and therapists benefit from it! I’m still dreaming of my divorce registry at Williams Sonoma. Sigh.

  9. OMG, you’ve hit upon something here!!
    There’s your millions!!
    There’s one way to cash in on your divorce. Make a reality series out of it, sell it to MTV and any other station (if it’s really a joke, Comedy Central!) that’ll air it and you’re done!

    Love the Divorce Registry! Really, you lose so much in a divorce, it would be nice to have some of it replaced!

  10. This one had me in stitches and wondering what items one would put on such a registry. As always, very much enjoy reading your posts.

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