New Year’s Eve Torture

New Year’s Eve Torture

Groan. Another year whips by and here am I facing the worst, most torturous time of the year.

For, if ever there was a holiday I can’t stand and would love to see sink into oblivion, it’s New Year’s Eve. I’d be happy to skip it altogether and may even start a petition to do so.

First, its very arrival means the holiday season is coming to a close, and everyone must get back to business—whether it’s a nine to five office job, working as a (terrifying) clown in the circus, or playing a round of golf a la Tiger Woods. Continue reading

Coconut is Missing! (Or, Things I Don’t Find on My Walk)

Coconut is Missing! (Or, Things I Don’t Find on My Walk)

Horror of all horrors, Coconut is missing!

I don’t know how it happened or when, but on my walk today there were flyers plastered all over the neighborhood.

Coconut is missing and I can only surmise that his owner is in a state of absolute heartbreak and panic. Life without precious Coconut could prove calamitous, indeed. Continue reading

Henry’s Midlife Crisis

Henry’s Midlife Crisis

Henry is having a midlife crisis. There’s no mistaking it.

For starters, he’s reverted to his puppy years, no doubt remembering the months he spent in a child care center where he’d see infants using pacifiers and started using them, too. Here he is again, a feeble attempt to relive his youth. Continue reading

Oliver Gets Soaked!

Oliver Gets Soaked!

Oliver Twist hates taking baths, but he loves getting soaked. Let me explain.

Put him in a tub, as I do every so often, and he hates it. He gets all squirmy as he tries desperately to climb out of the tub. Trust me, I know this because I have the claw marks on my arms as proof. Continue reading

Things I Find on My Walk #5

Things I Find on My Walk #5

Perhaps it was a toddler, drunk on Welch’s grape juice and graham crackers, who in a blurry-eyed attempt to get home, flew off the road, landing in this pile of mulch. Continue reading