Writing Letters

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Dear Father Time,

You’re moving too fast. Thanks to you, the day barely gets going and next thing you know the sun is setting. And gosh darn it, it happens every day! What’s up with that? I think it’s time you put mom at the helm. Continue reading

Family Meeting with Henry & Oliver

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Henry, when will you understand, I’m not booking you a passage to England. You’re staying put. Now, let’s get to business, shall we? As you know, because of the drought, the Governor of California issued an edict that we must all cut back our water use by 25 percent. As such, it is our duty to make the sacrifice, and I need to know what measures you each plan to take. Continue reading

New Year’s Eve Torture

New Year’s Eve Torture

Groan. Another year whips by and here am I facing the worst, most torturous time of the year.

For, if ever there was a holiday I can’t stand and would love to see sink into oblivion, it’s New Year’s Eve. I’d be happy to skip it altogether and may even start a petition to do so.

First, its very arrival means the holiday season is coming to a close, and everyone must get back to business—whether it’s a nine to five office job, working as a (terrifying) clown in the circus, or playing a round of golf a la Tiger Woods. Continue reading

Coconut is Missing! (Or, Things I Don’t Find on My Walk)

Coconut is Missing! (Or, Things I Don’t Find on My Walk)

Horror of all horrors, Coconut is missing!

I don’t know how it happened or when, but on my walk today there were flyers plastered all over the neighborhood.

Coconut is missing and I can only surmise that his owner is in a state of absolute heartbreak and panic. Life without precious Coconut could prove calamitous, indeed. Continue reading

Henry’s Midlife Crisis

Henry’s Midlife Crisis

Henry is having a midlife crisis. There’s no mistaking it.

For starters, he’s reverted to his puppy years, no doubt remembering the months he spent in a child care center where he’d see infants using pacifiers and started using them, too. Here he is again, a feeble attempt to relive his youth. Continue reading